Feeling connected to friends, family, and your surrounding community can make an enormous difference in improving your emotional and physical health. Good, strong relationships can make you feel more emotionally secure and can prevent risk behaviors that can damage your health.

Friendship

Laughing and crying together, learning from each other, venturing into new territory and experiences together. You probably get all this and more from your friendships. Many of you probably consider your friends to be just as important as your mom, dad, and other family members.

Some friendships are for life. Others can change over time as you mature from a kid, to a teenager, to an adult. "When I started junior high last year, I felt pressured to be friends with certain girls from my elementary school and their crowd. But I began to find others who I liked more and didn't talk behind my back, and who I could talk to about anything. So, I had a new circle of friends and kept some of my old ones too," said Maureen, age 13.

The transition from elementary school to middle school, for example, might also involve changes in who you feel close to and who you want to hang out with during your free time. After all, don't most of us want to spend time with people who share our interests and values? Moving away from one group of friends, or making new friends is normal.

It's likely that your relationships with guys have also changed. A few years ago, hanging out with boys was just as comfortable as spending time with girls. Now, you may feel self-conscious or shy around them as your body changes and you become a young woman. Add to those awkward feelings the fact that boys tend to start their physical development later than most girls, and most often mature later emotionally too.

Still, there are feelings out there, and crushes begin to develop. Your parents probably set an age when you are allowed to date. Even if you're not allowed to date yet, it's a good idea to be friends with and get to know some boys. It can help you develop healthy dating relationships in the future. The best dating relationships are based on friendships, shared interests, and mutual respect.

So, how do you know a friendship is worth maintaining, whether it's with another girl or a boy? Think of it this way:

?In a Good Relationship....

*I can be myself

*I know my privacy can be respected

*I am heard

*I am accepted for who I am, not what I wear or who I hang out with

*I feel safe

*I feel good about myself most of the time

*I can have my own space when I need it

*I don't worry about what they will say about me

*My opinions are respected

*Whenever I feel down, I know I can go to them for support

*I don't feel trapped or too powerless to get out if things go wrong.

*Making new friends

*What if a new student comes to your school? This student seems nice enough but not at all like the friends you have now. What would you do?

Talking to someone new, especially if they seem different from you, is often difficult. You may feel shy, or embarrassed, or lacking in something to say. But keep in mind: the other person probably feels the same way. Half the battle is feeling confident enough to talk to new people.

Ten ways to make friends:

1. Figure out whom you want to be friends with and why you like that person.
2. Get involved with after-school activities.
3. Introduce yourself and remember names.
4. Master the art of conversation.
5. Be sensitive to other people.
6. Give and receive compliments graciously, but sincerely.
7. Take your time making friends, don't rush it.
8. Be willing to risk rejection.
9. Be enthusiastic and positive.
10. Give parties.

Good friends...

* Listen!
* Treat each other fairly
* Celebrate each other's victories, commiserate in each other's defeats
* Keep promises
* Apologize for hurt feelings
* Defend each other
* Don't repeat secrets, except in cases where health and safety are involved
* Are honest with each other - but always tactful
* Avoid peer pressure