Putting it All Together - Special Concerns for Teens

Teens often face special concerns about talking with their doctor. These include:

Involving Parents

As you get older and want to assume more responsibility for your health, start by talking with your parents about things you'd like to handle by yourself, such as making appointments, calling with questions, and seeing the doctor alone (at least part of the time).

If you've been going to the same doctor all your life, you may wonder if the doctor will be disappointed in you if you want to talk about sex or things that may be bothering you. That's what doctors do all the time, though. Don't worry about the doctor's feelings.

Maybe the thought of talking to your doctor about private matters makes you feel funny. Once you bring up the subject, though, you'll probably feel a lot more comfortable about it. If you're still not comfortable talking with the doctor you've had growing up about these new personal matters, ask your parents to find you another doctor they trust - preferably one with lots of experience treating teens. It's important to have a doctor who makes you feel comfortable and treats you with respect.

Parents, of course, not only want you to be healthy - they also need to stay involved in your medical care until you are 18. For example, most states require that doctors have a parent's permission before providing most types of medical treatment or writing a prescription for a minor. Parents also need to submit insurance claims and give permission for things like lab tests. Despite these limitations, teens can find an independent "middle ground" that meets everyone's needs.

Dr. Paterson suggests that "both the parent and teen meet with the doctor together for the first part of the appointment; parents can often answer key questions and provide historical information doctors need to diagnose and treat. At that point, if the teen prefers, I'll ask the parent to leave so that I can talk with and examine the teen privately. It's the teen's choice." She advises teens that if their doctor has a policy of not seeing teens alone at least part of the time, they may want to find a doctor who will.

What if you have a question that you don't want your parents to know about? Teens who have a question or a concern can call their doctor to talk. Most doctors will allow a teen to go to an appointment alone if a parent calls and gives permission for treatment. Teens usually can make an appointment to go just to talk. Some doctors will allow a teen to be examined and treated without a parent's permission; other doctors want permission ahead of time. The easiest thing to do is have your parents let your doctor know that it's OK for you to make your own appointment and to be seen and treated if necessary.

Sometimes teens need talk to a doctor ahead of time - and not just after a problem. For example, teens who are considering becoming sexually active, or who already are, need to have medical experts who they can talk to openly and honestly. It's a good idea to talk to your parents first about these types of issues, and many teens do. Getting their advice and input can help you make the decision that's best for you.

But if that's not possible, you still need to get expert advice and care for yourself. Most states allow teens to receive reproductive health education and treatment without their parents' knowledge or permission. This includes such things as counseling, birth control, and examinations and treatment for STDs. A teen also can visit a health clinic like Planned Parenthood or a gynecologist (a doctor who specializes in reproductive health) at a public health clinic to receive confidential treatment. Clinics like these make it easy for teens pay for these services, often charging lower rates for teens who are paying for their own visits rather than using their parents' insurance.

Discussing Uncomfortable Topics or Problems

It's perfectly normal to feel nervous about talking with your doctor about things like sex, drug abuse, eating problems, weight concerns, depression, suicidal thoughts, and even body odor. But there are things you can do to make it easier to talk with your doctor about sensitive topics like these.

First, remember that most experienced doctors have taken care of hundreds or even thousands of patients, so chances are, they've heard, seen, and even smelled just about everything before. No matter how troubling something might be to you, it probably won't surprise them. Second, the doctor is there to help, not judge or punish. For example, a teen who is concerned about having an STD shouldn't avoid going to the doctor because he's ashamed or worried about what the doctor might think. Waiting might only make things worse and may even result in a permanent health problem. The doctor's role is to respectfully listen to, examine, educate, and treat teens.

On the flip side, it's your job to talk openly about your symptoms and concerns. A doctor can't help you unless you tell him or her the whole story, so even if you're uncomfortable, being open and honest will only benefit you. To make talking easier, Dr. Paterson suggests that teens come to their appointment with a piece of paper to give to the doctor that lists their problem, symptoms, and questions. "When teens come in for their appointment, they just need to give me the paper so that I know what's going on. This approach jump-starts the communication process, puts the teen at ease, and gives them a chance to see that I'm there to help them 100%."

Confidentiality

Confidential care means that what you say stays between you and your doctor. Confidentiality helps to ensure honesty and openness between a patient and a doctor. That doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to your parents. If you can, you should. Sometimes, though, teens find it difficult to talk with their parents about certain medical or emotional concerns - but still need to get an expert opinion. Nearly every state ensures that teens can get care confidentially for STDs, pregnancy, mental health concerns like suicide and depression, and drug abuse. Most school clinics and public health clinics that treat teens are very careful to maintain confidentiality.

Generally, teens are entitled to privacy, or confidentiality, with their personal doctors - and most doctors agree to keep things confidential unless they feel the teen is at danger - or is a danger to others. In that case, the doctor is obligated to inform the teen's parents. If you're concerned about confidentiality, talk with your doctor or other health care provider about their policy.

Reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD
Date reviewed: April 2001