Putting it All Together - Talking to Other Adults (In Addition to Parents)

No matter how good your relationship is with your parents, there will be times when you'll feel more comfortable confiding in or asking for help from other adults. If you'd rather not ask your parents about a particular issue (like sex), if you feel you're being abused by a parent, or if you'd just like to talk to someone else first, there are always other resources. Most adults will keep your conversations confidential if you ask them to, unless they fear that your health or well-being may be in jeopardy.

If you're having problems with friends, schoolwork, teachers, or your parents, consider talking to your school guidance counselor. These counselors are specially trained to talk privately with you and to provide help and support in these types of situations. A guidance counselor can also refer a teen to a professional therapist in cases where this might be beneficial.

For medical concerns and questions about sex, try talking to your school nurse, health education teacher, family doctor, an adolescent doctor (a doctor who specializes in treating adolescents and teens), or a gynecologist.

Other family members, such as an aunt, uncle, or older sibling, can help provide wisdom or comfort when it's needed. Parents of a close friend may also be able to help. (They may even be able to ease your parents' fears about certain issues - like dating, going to a co-ed party, or sleeping over at a new friend's house.)

If you're involved in a church group or belong to a synagogue or mosque, your spiritual or youth group leader may also be a good source of comfort and advice. And if you're involved in an extracurricular activity, such as sports or drama, you may feel close enough to your coach or advisor to ask him or her about the more personal stuff.

Even if you'd rather talk to friends about certain things, there are times when talking to parents or other adults is a necessity. If you think you're in danger physically or mentally, talking to a responsible adult is important. And if you're concerned about a friend with a serious problem, don't worry about getting him or her in trouble. Waiting for the "right time" could be too late for someone who is suicidal, has an eating disorder, or is being abused. An adult may have more experience, be able to contact the right person, or find the best resources to get help.

Communicating with your parents may seem difficult right now, but chances are it will get easier with time. When this period of growth is over, it's likely you'll return to feeling close to your parents and that you'll communicate with them on a new level.

Reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD
Date reviewed: July 2003