Dear Alone,

I can TOTALLY relate to how to you're feeling. I too am adopted, since 3 months old. I've just turned 37, and have felt the same way most all of my life. I'm married, no kids, lots of pets, but there's always an emptiness, unanswered questions, and a HUGE "piece of the puzzle" of my life I have no clue about. Like you, I feel the adopted should have a right to know about their roots, where they came from. Everyone else does, so, WHY CAN'T WE TOO?? Also for medical reasons, so we know if there's anything we should be aware of. I too have had ALOT of ups and downs in my life, but I manage to take it one day at a time. Some days are much harder than others. I feel everything happens for a reason. And we all have a purpose, whether we know of it or not. I was born and adopted in Germany. Recently I've received a response from one of MANY messages left on rootsweb message boards, of a place to contact to get bmothers previous and current address. I did so, and soon received email back from them that they had contacted my b/mother. In my case, unfortunately she refused permission to give me her address. She told them she "didn't want to be remind to the adoption". That totally ripped my heart out! But, I've NOT given up, and WILL NOT give up that easily. I've emailed back a letter to my b/mother telling her of how I feel. I hope they forward it on to her. I'm reminded of the adoption every waking moment of my life for 37 years. I DON'T want to discourage you whatsoever in your search!!! Keep on searching!! IF one door closes, OPEN another! WE HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW! I know there are many reasons for a mother to give up her child. Personally, I couldn't bear the thought of it, day after day, wondering, worrying,and not knowing about my child. But a big part of me believes it takes alot of love to give ones baby up for adoption. Just know that you ARE NOT ALONE in how you feel. I DO understand and sympathize w/you!!! HANG IN THERE! THERE IS HOPE! TAKE CARE!!

BE BLESSED,

CAN RELATE