Most families have rules their children are expected to obey. Rules are necessary for a well-run household and safety. As foster parents we knew without rules, chaos would reign. To be effective, rules must be limited, understandable, relevant, and enforceable. Limit rules so everyone will remember them. Rule lists that look like legal statutes with sections and subsections or written in language that kids need to look up, will cause problems. Our group foster home used just ten rules. They were simple, straightforward, and covered all the basics. Parents make the mistake of including things that are everyday expectations. Kids, as "members of your household society" must do certain things. They aren't rules. You probably won't include that your children must bathe every day as a rule. They must for health reasons; it's not optional.

You expect it. You probably won't consequence them if they don't, however. On the other hand if that is the problem area you have with your child, a rule may be needed.

Rules should be based on the individuality of child and family. Tailor your list accordingly. If you have rules for toddlers, it probably won't include no drugs and alcohol. Neither will your teen's list read "Put toys back when done p1aying".

Enforcement of rules is important. Don't include things you cannot enforce. How will you consequence or reward a behavior when you don't see it. An example would be forbidding a child to see a school friend. These types of rules make little sense.

Once rules are set, don't change them. Make sure everyone understands the rules and their consequences. Keep consequences reasonable. Grounding a kid for three months will affect you also. Two weeks will be more than enough for you both.

I've included Our Ten Rules, your list will be different, suit it to your needs.

1. Respect each other.

2 No violence.

3.No stealing.

4.No drugs or alcohol

5.Keep your body, clothes, and rooms clean.

6.Attend school daily and do homework.

7.Obey curfews, bedtimes, quiet times.

8. Do chores.

9. Keep appointments.

1O. Meet social worker, probation requirements.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel