Saving Joshua
Since then, we were picked by another birth mother who was in jail but lost her baby in her third trimester. Since then, we have continued to work with the adoption agency for our China adoption, which was on hold until I turned 30 (this happened on June 29th so our paperwork did not go in until July 1st so that will take at least 13 to 18 months.). We got a call on July 15th from the adoption working telling us about a boy in Penza who looks Asian and that needs an adoptive family. He turned one on September 21, 2002.
Needless to say, since that day, we have been on a mission to adopt him with the support from a very loving husband. This road has been very bumpy and we were even thinking about taking a break, because we couldn't handle another disappointment. We did all the paperwork immediately so that we could get things moving my hope was to have him home in September. First we were told that we would only have to travel once to Penza that is all they required. We received his picture on September 16th five months from the day we found out that we would be Amanda's parents. It was so exciting we started to call him Joshua Michael. My husband hung his picture up at work, and I showed everyone. Why not? I am a proud mother.
A week after we got his picture, we were told that we had good news and bad. The bad news is we would have to travel twice the good news was that we would be leaving October 5th. It was bittersweet, because we did not like the idea that we would have to leave my son behind. Then a few days later, we were told that "Joshua" would be at his annual physical on the day we were supposed to see him, so we would have to wait and go with the next group at the end of the month.
This was devastating news, but little did we know that there was more to come; in fact, the unthinkable lies ahead. So now we are traveling at the end of October to meet our son. Joshua's face, along with Amanda's is forever planted in my mind. Then the unthinkable happens on October 9th. My husband checked in with the adoption worker to see if we got an invitation so we could apply for our Visa, instead we were told that Joshua (our 1st referral) is too sick to travel and he may have to go in for surgery (for what? we still don't know) (We had his records checked out by an international doctor in Ann Arbor, Michigan who felt he was healthy based on the information that was provided at the time.) Joshua had the mumps, which is treatable. My husband was told that he was too sick and that the Russian orphanage is recommending that we just adopt another child, that he may not survive.
My husband panicked. He called my mother and a doctor friend because he did not want to tell me while I was at work. I arrived home around 5:00p.m., and I new something was wrong because my husband was supposed to have his work vehicle in the garage, because he was going away for a week, but he still had his car.
When I walked into the house, I new something was very wrong; however, I thought it was that they postponed the travel date again. When my husband told me that we could not adopt Joshua but that there are a few other referrals that we could pick from, I went numb. I could not cry; in fact, I could not move. I just kept thinking how many children will I have to hang on my wall before I can bring one home.
We both feel that Amanda and Joshua will always be our children, even though they may never live with us. I have more room in my heart than I ever expected. When I was told there were other children available, I kept thinking, this is not liking shopping for a car, but it is a business to many people. The shock has still not worn off. We haven't given up on Joshua, which is why I titled this "Saving Joshua". We are praying that he will become healthy enough to travel so he can come home to mom and dad. In the interim, we will be adopting another son. This will also allow us to get over to Russia to find out about the status of Joshua's health.
With the help from our families, we are scrambling to find an extra $10,000, in case we can adopt both children. (Included with the $25,000+ we have put away for "Joshua") We would pay a million dollars to have our son home, but we have to be realistic. Our love for children, even the ones without faces run so deep. We never expected this journey to be so difficult, but we do realize that when it's all over and we hold our children in our arms, we'll know that we are truly blessed. I have always wanted a newborn baby so bad that I went out and bought a bassinet and small baby clothes. I realize now that the most important thing is to have room in our hearts to love any child. I will never have a newborn, but I am ok with that. I do believe that this is God's plan for us. His plan was for us to realize that our marriage is the foundation of a great union and that we need a strong foundation to have children in our lives.
