Taken from Growing Concerns -- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Martha Erickson

Question: Recently a 14-year-old friend of our daughter attempted suicide. It seems the kids are glorifying and romanticizing this event, claiming the boy is a genius, a poet, and "too sensitive for this world." How can we put this in perspective and make sure other kids don't follow in his footsteps?

Answer: You are wise in recognizing a common but dangerous response to suicide attempts among young teens. Suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers (after traffic accidents). Girls most often attempt suicide, but boys most often succeed. When they succeed, it is forever, and there is nothing glamorous or romantic about that.

In a large-scale Adolescent Health Survey conducted a few years ago by the Minnesota Department of Health and the University of Minnesota's Adolescent Health Program, one in eight Minnesota teens indicated they had attempted suicide at some time in their lives. One in 20 reported making an attempt within the year prior to the survey. A major underlying cause of teen suicide is untreated depression. Depression may show itself in various ways. The following risk signs should be taken seriously.

· Change in grades or school performance

· Social isolation or a marked change in friendships

· Suicidal themes in writings, drawings, or in the music the teen chooses to listen to

· Feelings of hopelessness

· Lack of interest in activities that normally are enjoyable (This is what California psychiatrist Dennis Cantwell calls "the Disneyland test." If a kid isn't excited about going to Disneyland on Saturday, something is wrong.)

Risk of suicide is greatest among teens who experience a low level of connectedness with family, a low level of religiousness, a high level of emotional stress, and who are more dependent on peers than on parents. Teens who have finally decided to take their lives will often appear exhilarated or highly energized. Following a period of flatness and isolation, this sudden surge of energy can be a serious risk sign that suicide is imminent. When you see signs that a teen may be thinking about suicide, do not be afraid to ask. Asking will NOT put the idea in the young person's mind. Ask if she's thinking about it and if she has a plan. This is NOT a secret to keep. Let the teen know you want them to get the help they need and that you must tell the proper authorities. Contact a mental health professional to see that the young person gets the help she needs. No matter how despairing the youth may be--and no matter what the loss or failure that may have triggered the onset of the depression--both time and treatment can help.

Right now, in the aftermath of your daughter's friend's suicide attempt, you have a window of opportunity to join with other parents and educators in your community to raise awareness and understanding about teen suicide. Many communities have created strong networks of adults and teens who are trained to recognize and respond to signs of teen depression. If your school or community does not already have such a network, I urge you to be the one to get the ball rolling.

Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.