Summer Boredom
Question: On days when our eight-year-old is home, he often complains that he's bored. Especially during these long days of summer, it's becoming a real pain. We'd welcome suggestions for how to deal with this.
Answer: This time of year many kids whine, "I'm bored! What can I do?" As parents look around at their kids' toys, bikes, and video games, they can't imagine how anyone could be bored. But the kids' feelings are real--and, although the complaining is a nuisance for parents, the situation presents a learning opportunity. Before talking about what to do, it's important to think about what may be behind a child's feelings of boredom.
· At the top of the list is the lack of structure at home as compared to school. Young children have not yet developed--or learned--how to plan and structure their time, so the lack of structure can throw them off balance.
· Secondly, when kids have nothing specific to look forward to the time looks endless to them. Even having just one scheduled event in the day can give them a marker that makes the day more manageable.
· Children often have a high need for novelty. It doesn't necessarily have to be something major, but just a little twist in the usual routine can give them a boost.
· Finally, loneliness often underlies boredom. Even with all the playthings and electronic equipment in so many of our homes, there is no substitute for time with people you like and enjoy.
So, as a parent faced with a bored child, there are several things you can do that may help solve the problem in the short run and, even more important, help your child begin to develop some ways to confront his own boredom in the future.
· First, sit down with your child in the evening or first thing in the morning and plan how to structure the day. This gives your child a firsthand lesson in how to plan and make each day just what he wants it to be.
· Put something special on the agenda for a specific time so that your child has something to look forward to. It need not be anything extravagant; often a play date with a friend or an hour set aside to play board games with mom or dad will be enough to add a little pizzazz to the day.
· Do the same old things but in NEW ways. For example, make lunch a picnic; have friends come over in last year's Halloween costumes; line the kitchen chairs up in rows in the TV room, pull the shades, pop popcorn and "go to the movies"; pitch a tent in the backyard (or make one out of blankets over a table) and go camping; paint shaving cream pictures on the sidewalk, then run through the hose when you rinse them off.
· Finally, get into the fun of it all with your kids. If you join them in getting something started, they usually can take it from there--making your day and theirs a lot more enjoyable.
Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
