The newest Disney movie has just opened at a theatre near you and five-year-old Amy wants her mother to take her. Now. Darlene, Amy's mother, tells her daughter that, although they can't go today, they can go next week. The answer doesn't suit Amy who immediately begins to complain.

Darlene, who has dealt with Amy's sulks and whines many times before, responds to the behavior with a sigh. "Why," she thinks to herself, "can't she just respect my wishes?"

It's a question most parents have asked themselves at some time. True, in these demanding times, mothers and fathers want their sons and daughters to be independent and assertive. That said, most parents also want their children to be respectful at home and in the world.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to promote respect is to ignore disrespectful behavior. Faced with sulking or whining -- common methods kids use to get caregivers to change their minds -- Darlene's optimum response is to refuse to engage in argument. If Amy's bad behavior persists, Darlene should leave the room.

At the same time as they give scant attention to errant behavior, parents will want to acknowledge the times children are behaving respectfully. When Joe asks his son, Davey, to tidy up his room and Davey does, the boy's reward should be a pat on the back or verbal praise from his dad.

Of course, the most effective means of instilling respectful behavior is to practice it. If you treat others kindly and thoughtfully and, particularly, if you take the time to listen to your own children and to let them know that their thoughts and ideas are interesting, you'll probably get back what you give.

© Algoma Family Services