Taken from: Growing Concerns- A childrearing question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson

Question: Our 16-year-old son has decided to be a vegetarian. (Ironically, my husband is a butcher!) We're worried that he won't get enough protein, and it's a nuisance to try to plan meals around his strict diet. We're not sure how to react. What should we do?

Answer: It is not surprising--and probably not coincidental--that dad is a butcher and your son has decided to be a vegetarian. As hard as it is for us parents to accept, one of the major developmental tasks of adolescence is to define oneself as different from parents and other adult authority figures. That's a primary way for teens to find their individual identity. In the big scheme of things, you are fortunate that your son has chosen a mild--and even healthy--way to distinguish himself from you.

As for your concerns about the impact of a vegetarian diet on his physical health, there probably is no need to worry. As my colleagues in nutrition assure me, vegetarian diets can be very healthy and more than adequate in terms of protein. If your son eats eggs and dairy products like milk, cheese and yogurt, he is probably getting more than enough protein. Even if he has eliminated dairy products from his diet, foods such as whole grains and beans can provide sufficient protein.

As for the hassles for you at mealtime, perhaps a good approach for the whole family would be for you to affirm and support his choice to be a vegetarian, but NOT necessarily cater to it. A 16-year-old is certainly old enough to share mealtime responsibilities. When you cook as you normally would for the rest of the family, let your son eat what he can and then supplement from an assortment of grains, fruits, vegetables and legumes.

Beyond that, you might turn this into a great learning opportunity for your son and you. Try engaging him in shopping for a healthy assortment of foods you all would enjoy, finding vegetarian recipes that appeal to all of you, or making a tasty vegetarian meal for the family every so often. Respectfully encourage your son to tell you why he has chosen vegetarianism--whether for health or moral reasons. And invite him to teach you what he's learning about the benefits of a vegetarian diet and about nutrition in general.

By taking him seriously and supporting his healthy experimentation, you will send a strong message that you respect him as an individual who is defining his own beliefs and behaviors. Then, whether he remains a vegetarian or not, you will have demonstrated clearly that you are there as a secure base for him as he navigates the path from childhood to adulthood.

The Children, Youth and Family Consortium invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 3 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.

© ©2002 Regents of the University of Minnesota. All rights reserved.