The Journey from Rough Boys to Caring Men
Parents immediately begin to treat sexes differently at birth; that may be a mistake. If only girls receive cuddling, softness, and beauty in their surroundings and not boys, something is missing in a boy's upbringing.
A girl is given a pretty pastel room filled with soft colors and textures. Sometimes so is the boy, but it lasts for a much shorter time, then we bring on the bright colors which are appealing, but better for toddlers rooms. Boys need the calmness of soft pastels just as much as girls.
We fill up a little girl's crib with the softest of blankets, dollies, and stuffed toys. The boys get footballs and sturdy bears to snuggle up to at night. How silly, to expect this tiny being to be any different from his female counterpart at this stage of life. He needs the soft touch, the serene colors, and the quiet security that all babies need.
Many parents, can still control this part of the experience and do not try acting like the tiny infant is a grown man, others have more trouble with this idea. Fathers lose their mind when anything not masculine is put on or used for their sons. "Ya gotta make 'em tough," shout the proud new dads. Boy, do I agree with that statement, but let's take a different approach at birth and give them a few years to develop this toughness.
Some
parents really get into this 'little man' thing when their child is a toddler. They dress him cords and jeans that are more durable, even though less comfortable for a little one. They immediately snatch a doll from the child's clutches and start worrying about his sexual orientation. This is hogwash and further more should be avoided. Regardless of the sex of your child, expose them to their masculine and feminine sides, letting them play with dolls, cars, boy's toys and girl's toys. My son, now a Sergeant in the army had both his own motor to take apart and an Easy Bake Oven when he was very young. Do not expect them to just like one or the other, it may be harmful to their growing up with the right feelings about many things.
When a boy is old enough to understand, he should be taught
respect for women and the father is the best example of this, by how he treats his wife. Boys who have learned to respect women early make wonderful husbands and fathers. When they recognize the value of a woman beyond the physical and sexual attributes, they have taken a giant step toward understanding the basics of relationships.
A man who feels a woman's role is to be 'barefoot and pregnant' will treat her with a lack of respect and probably be a poor partner and parent. These types of men also shirk their responsibilities putting it all on the women as far as child raising and housework.
Teaching the responsibility, caring, and sensitivity that most women want in a mate and most fathers need to show, as a parent is definitely one of the most important concepts.
The man who grows up with these attributes can also be strong rather than domineering and abusive, respectful rather than manipulative, and caring without being seen as a 'woosie.' We need more not less of these types of men. Of course, all the good attributes discussed here will mean nothing if not combined with a strong, masculine personality. Strength of character is valued above bodily strength and the perfect mate is a combination of all these things. Get boys started while young to produce the kind of men needed to lead
families, schools, churches, and countries.
Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel