I was adopted when I was three days old. When I was eight, I read my baby book and it said that my mom and dad came to pick me up from Child and Family Services. What did this mean? I asked and was told that I was adopted and that someone else had me and she could not keep me so they got me. I was confused, but went to school and told all my friends. Day after day, I lived with agony. Kids would say, "You were bought from the Kroger store." "No one wanted you, so they had to pay someone to love you." How cruel!

Over the years there were no "I love you's, no hugs, no kisses. When I was twelve, I was raped over a six month period by my brother. I went to my parents and told them what was happening and was told "this better not be going on or we will have to get rid of one of you". I was scared. My brother would tell me that they would get rid of me, because I was the youngest. Then he would tell me that no one else would take me because I was unloveable.

Then in 1998, I learned thaat the adoption records in Tennessee were open and all I had to do was write in and ask for them. I got up the nerve to do so and never heard anything. I called, and they said you should have received a letter explaining the process. I was so mad at God. Why was he letting this happen? Why did he not want me to be happy and find my birth mother? I wrote another letter in 1999 and again, no reply. I got even more angry.

Then in 2000, I wrote the last letter and I finally got the letter back saying "we answer these in the order they are received". Finally, I felt I was getting somewhere.

In 2001, I called and she said the time line for me getting the papers was not far away. I started looking on the internet posting on any adoption page I could find. I ended up getting no replies and could not find a match.

In September 2002, I got my papers. I was thrilled but scared to death opening that envelope. Then it happend: I flipped through looking for a name, any name that would link me to someone out there. I found the name, and it was so common that I thought I would never find her. I looked and looked on the internet, and then one day it hit me. Do a search on classmates.com. I did, and it pulled up her maiden name and her married name. I called without hesitation. The phone rang and rang, and no one answered. I called back every fifteen minutes, and finally someone answered. When I heard the voice on the other end, I knew it was her. I told her I was looking on classmates.com and found her name.

She said "Oh, who are you, and what school did you go to?" I kind of laughed and thought if only she knew why I was really calling. Then, I said " My name is Beth, and I was adopted when I was three days old." The phone got silent.

I said, "I am looking for my birth mother and was wondering if you are her." She paused and said, "No, can I get your number and call you back?" (Because she knew of someone else with her same name that might be my mother. I gave her my number and hung up. I knew in my heart that I had found her.

Then, twenty minutes later, she called and said, "I first need to apologize, but yes, this is me". I about died. We talked for 2 hours catching up. One month later, I went to meet her, and it was everything I had hoped for and more. My new mom made me feel so special, and there is not a day that goes by that she does not tell me how special I am. She tells me she loves me, and her family has accepted me as if I have been there forever. I have a half brother that is fantastic and grandparents that let me back into their lives also. The 33 years that I hurt in my other family was made up for. My birth mother is the best. I am going back again this month. She loves me and makes my life complete.