My purpose for writing is to reach out to those who have put their children up for adoption, are pondering adoption, or are planning on adopting. I am almost 39 years old and let me share with you that my entire life has been fragmented by the unknown. Life is hard enough. Enduring the "norm" lessons of life can be trying at times. Society talks of the importance of both parents being involved in a child's upbringing whether they are together or not. We see what effects it has to children who are raised in a single family home. It can be so traumatizing to a child. Imagine how the adopted child feels. Sure there are great adoptive parents and great success stories. But let's focus on the adoptions that aren't so great.

I love my adoptive parents, but I had a terrible upbringing. Unspeakable to be frank! And with all said and done, all I want to know is who I am. Where I came from. Don't let your pride or righteousness stand in the way of a child just needing to know who they are. One may be surprised at how that child will respect and love you that much more given the opportunity to know their identity. I think I have the right to know. Is it fair that I may go to my grave never knowing who I really am? To give my children an understanding of where I came from. If you think you are protecting a child by withholding information you are dead wrong. Who gives you the power to decide for them? I can understand that it may be difficult as a child, but when a person becomes of legal age, why is it that they can serve in the armed forces & freely vote, but laws prohibit them from knowing their biological parents.

I get so frustrated with all the brick walls I have to hurdle and I ask myself why? Why don't I have the right like most others take for granted? Things need to change. And I think it starts with the folks who are wanting to adopt and to those who unselfishly put their children up for adoption. Don't let our future generations endure these kinds of unnecessary situations which can take away potential energy that can be focused elsewhere.

I was adopted. Born in Rockford, Illinois in 1964. I have been searching for my birth parents and any possible relative I may have for the past 21 years. Twenty-one years is a long time. It's pain-stakingly long.

© 2003