The majority of child predators develop relationships with their victims. Realistically, chances are that if anyone is going to harm your child, they are already active in your life. It's critical that you understand that many of these people will first seduce you, the parent, before they manipulate their child victims. Once you know their behaviors, their techniques and the language they typically use, you will be better prepared to identify and respond to potential predators.

Child predators often use what I refer to as scripting behavior when attempting to seduce parents. Knowing the script allows you to identify it and respond to it earlier in the victimization cycle.

Synergy
This behavior refers to the use of a shared experience or some other connecting device to create a level of trust between predator and parents.

Charm
Niceness isn't a personality trait; it's a strategy of social interaction and a traditional predator scripting technique. This approach involves the use of any form of unsolicited friendliness, pleasantry or charm. The key word here is unsolicited. This approach is often called the 'sales script' because it brings to mind images of the traditional smiling -faced salesman. These guys are nice for a reason. They want something you have.

Refusing No
Anytime a person refuses to hear the word 'no', they are attempting to control you. 'No' should never be negotiated. It is a complete sentence and you should never have to justify or explain its use. Once you choose to say 'no', commit yourself to it. Anything less is devaluing your commitment and surrendering your control.

Information Overload
In this scripting technique, the predator typically tells you way too much information about himself or herself or some situation. Much like the sales script, these people can often seem too good to be true. Anytime you think that someone - or something - is too good to be true, chances are you're right. It's commonly an intuitive response.

Promises
This scripting mechanism involves a promise to do something to convince you that they are genuine or that their intentions are honest or sincere. An openly communicated, unsolicited promise to do something is typically a plea, a desperate attempt to secure belief. Most people allow their actions to speak about who they are and whether or not their intentions are sincere. Our character is the result of our conduct - rarely our communications.

Tainted Obligation
This strategy involves the predator helping you in some way so that you will be in emotional debt to them. This behavior generally results in convoluted reciprocal rights, with parents feeling obligated to do something in return at some time in the future. While no one would knowingly hand over the custody of their child to a predator, most people aren't thinking in terms of predatory behavior in response to this approach. They are concerned about their own social value. To make that a little clearer, most people care about how others think about them. Everyone wants to be liked. Generally, when someone does something for us, we feel obligated to do something in return. This isn't necessarily because we operate on some social ledger. It's because, at a particular level, we don't want this other person to feel as though we are neglecting the relationship or forcing them to think less of us. Predators prey on these behaviors.

It is important that you have a good understanding of the techniques that predators will use to seduce you to ultimately gain access to your children. The level of knowledge you possess regarding these scripting behaviors is commensurate with the level of safety of your children.