Tips on Setting Allowances
A parenting question-and-answer column with Dr. Martha Erickson of the University of Minnesota
Question: We have a blended family with five kids ranging in age from 6 to 14. We are trying to come to agreement about policies on allowances for the kids--are they a good idea, at what age, how much, under what conditions. Can you offer any guidance?
Answer: You are wise to be thinking carefully about this important aspect of parenting. Parents have primary responsibility for helping their kids learn the values and skills associated with good money management. Through allowances, children can learn not only the value of material things and services, but also decision-making and planning skills, how to save money and how to delay gratification by waiting and planning for something they really want.
There is no magic age at which a child becomes old enough to receive an allowance. But when a child is old enough to say, "Mommy, would you buy me that ...," it probably is time to consider it. The size of the allowance will vary with the age of the child, the resources and values of the parents and the purposes for which allowance money are to be used. For example, for a very young child a 50-cent allowance may be used for special treats, while a teenager might be given a large amount but be expected to budget it for clothing, recreation and miscellaneous expenses.
There is no "right amount" and no "right way" to administer allowances. What is important is that parents be clear from the start about what the allowance policy will be. (Older children can benefit from participating in the decision from the very beginning, helping to calculate a realistic amount to help them cover their expected expenses.) In addition to setting the amount and schedule of payments, the following also should be considered ahead of time.
What are the conditions of the allowance? That is, are certain chores required in order to receive the allowance? Or will the allowance be withheld as punishment if the child breaks certain rules or expectations?
What if the child runs out of money before the end of the allowance period? Are the parents willing to give an advance on the next week's allowance? Are there opportunities for the child to earn additional money by doing extra jobs around the house?
Are there any limits on how the child can use the allowance? For example, are there certain activities or products that are not consistent with the parents' values and therefore should not be purchased with money provided by the parent?
Can you help your children learn to help others by setting aside a small part of their allowances for a favorite charity?
Allowances present a unique opportunity to teach your child skills and values that will last a lifetime!
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Editor's note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. You may fax them to (612) 624-6369 or send them to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
