Dear A.

I read your posting: You met your birth mother who is a drug addict that wants nothing to do with you. I wanted to reach out and give you a big hug! What a hard situation to deal with!!! I'll give you a brief overview of my life - then you can take my advice or leave it (or you can e-mail me to talk further, if you like).

I was born to two drug addicts. They decided to keep me because they could collect welfare $$ by having me. (I have seen and been through lots of things that a child should never have to endure.) When I was approximately 13, I decided that I couldn't handle their lifestyle and I left home. A wonderful woman took me in and gained legal custody of me (boy was I lucky to have her in my life). My father has passed away (he was adopted at birth - I am looking for his birth parents now), but my mother is still living, and hasn't changed her life at all. I want you to know that I have forgiven her - BUT I don't have anything to do with her. I have children of my own now, and I don't have any room in my life for the stress that she brings.

Listen to your adoptive mother - forgive the biological mother - you'll feel better about that. Be thankful that your birth mom gave you up for adoption to a wonderful family - one that could take much better care of you and could give you a much better life. Understand where you came from, know where you are now and be thankful for it all!

If you would like to chat further, please feel free to contact me: danip925@msn.com

D.P.

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