Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Book review

Adoptee Sherrie Eldridge represents the voice of the adopted child in her new and invaluable book. This is a resource which is bound to become a well-worn classic understanding adoption from the eyes of a child. A child's voice is often unrecognized or unheard by the adults who are parenting

Written in a style which is clear and sensitive, warm and poignant, while filled with wonderful insights, this reviewer thinks this is a must read for every adoptive parent. Who of us is not interested in understanding the emotional issues our child faces?

Beginning with hidden losses as a way to enter an adoptive child's world, Ms. Eldridge takes the reader through a child's fears of abandonment, fear, and shame. The importance of grieving losses is addressed, while at times, weaving in some of her own story, which does not diminish her powerful message.

Chapters include:

*"Just because I don't talk about my birth family doesn't mean I don't think about them."

*"If I don't grieve my losses, my ability to receive love from you and others.

*"Please respect my privacy regarding my adoption. Don't tell other people without my consent."

*"Even if I decide to search for my birth family, I will always want you to be my parents."

Well- meaning parents may have minimal knowledge or insight when it comes to the "heart" of an adoptive child. Readers will find this to be an invaluable guide, which will powerfully enlighten and also diminish fears as well as lesson the mythology which surrounds the complexities of adoption.

This information is of enormous importance to adoptive parents. I hope every adoptive parent like me will read and embrace the heart concerns of their beloved child.

© Ellen Roseman

Credits: Sherrie Eldridge