Twenty- Three Tips on Raising The Kind of Child You May Not Want to Live With

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1. Teach your children to follow directions by repeating them over and over and over and over until you get angry! (Teach your kids it really doesn't matter when you ask them to do something.)

2. Give second, third and fourth chances. (Teach your children that life is forgiving and there really are no consequences for misbehavior.)

3. Always give in to temper tantrums and demands. If your children are willing to go to that much trouble to control you, they should be rewarded for their effort!

4. Allow your feelings of guilt to get in the way of being firm with your children.

5. Never listen to your children. You wouldn't want them to pick up the habit and listen to you.

6. Never set aside time to spend with your children doing what they want to do.

7. Never listen to them, take them seriously, or let them know you genuinely need them. Don't let them know they are important and significant to you.

8. Never say "I was wrong" and never say "I'm sorry."

9. Arguing is great sport for many kids. Give them a treat. Engage in arguments with them on a regular basis. You'll legitimize their right to debate things with you.

10. Assume your children will be well behaved and never say anything encouraging when they are. Wait until they misbehave then yell and scream at them. You'll be rewarding and reinforcing their misbehavior.

11. Punish your children when they misbehave. Show them who's boss! Reward them when they behave. Show them who's God! Never allow them to experience the natural and logical consequences of their behavior, decisions and choices.

12. Always treat your children's behavior as who they are. Never let them know that they are good people who have done something that is unacceptable.

13. Engage in power struggles with your children. Show them you can make them do what you want them to do! Order them to do something, watch over them to make sure they do it and have a tantrum if they don't!

14. Let them know how angry they make you. Have an attitude with them and be sarcastic ~ make sure they know how much power they have over your emotions.

15. Never let them think for themselves, make choices, and learn the relationship between their behavior and the results.

16. Figure everything out for your children so that they will never have to deal with negative consequences. Don't let them develop a sense of capability by figuring things out for themselves.

17. Always manipulate, coerce, punish and induce guilt - before they have a chance to do it to you.

18. Make sure their self-esteem is low by using phrases like: If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times... When will you ever learn...; you don't care about anyone but yourself...; When will you stop living like a pig?

19. Always tell your children how they should feel and think. Never treat their feelings and thoughts as legitimate.

20. Teach your children morals and values by pounding them into their heads. Tell them what is right, wrong, good, and bad. Never listen to them and find out what is important to them and what their values are.

21. Always get involved in conflicts between your children. Figure out who started it, who was wrong, who needs to be punished, and who needs to be protected. Always listen to complaining about and tattling on each other. Take sides. Play district attorney. Let them know how upset their fighting makes you. Don't allow them to learn to resolve conflicts on their own.

22. Teach your children about money by buying them things whenever they want, never letting them know the supply of money is limited, making decisions about how they should spend their money, never giving them the opportunity to work for money, never teaching them to delay gratification by earning and saving for a desired item, and keeping them hassling you whenever they want something.

23. Treat adolescents like adults. Ignore the fact that they are naturally egocentric and hedonistic and don't have the experience and judgment capabilities of adults. Grant them the same rights and privileges as adults.
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