Vegetarian Son
Question: Our 16-year-old son has decided to be a vegetarian. We're worried that he won't get enough protein, and it's a nuisance to try to plan meals around his strict diet. We're not sure how to react. (Ironically, my husband is a butcher!)
Answer: It is not surprising--and probably not coincidental--that dad's a butcher and son has decided to be a vegetarian. As hard as it is for parents to accept, one of the major developmental tasks of adolescence is to define oneself as different from parents and other adult authority figures. That's a primary way for teens to find an identity all their own. In the big scheme of things, you are fortunate that your son has chosen a mild--and even healthy--way to distinguish himself from you.
As for your concerns about the impact of a vegetarian diet on his physical health, there probably is no need to worry. Vegetarian diets can be very healthy and more than adequate in terms of protein. In fact, nutritionists say that most Americans far exceed the recommended intake of protein, as well as fat, which also is a part of many high-protein foods. If your son eats eggs and dairy products, such as milk, cheese, and yogurt, he probably is getting more than enough protein. Even if he has eliminated dairy products from his diet, foods such as whole grains and beans can provide sufficient protein.
As for the mealtime hassles, perhaps a good approach for the whole family would be to affirm and support his choice to be a vegetarian, but not necessarily cater to it. A 16-year-old is certainly old enough to share mealtime responsibilities. When you cook as you normally would for the rest of the family, let your son eat what he can and then supplement from an assortment of breads, fruits and vegetables. Beyond that, this could be a great learning opportunity for him and you. How about engaging him in shopping for a healthy assortment of foods that you all would enjoy, finding vegetarian recipes that appeal to all of you, or making a tasty vegetarian meal for the family every so often. Respectfully encourage him to tell you why he has chosen vegetarianism--whether for health or moral reasons. And invite him to teach you what he's learning about the benefits of a vegetarian diet and about nutrition in general. By taking him seriously and supporting his healthy experimentation, you send him a strong message that you respect him as an individual who is defining his own beliefs and behaviors. Whether or not he remains a vegetarian, you will have demonstrated clearly that you are there as a secure base for him as he negotiates the transition from child to adult.
Editor's Note: Dr. Martha Farrell Erickson, director of the University of Minnesota's Children, Youth and Family Consortium, invites your questions on child rearing for possible inclusion in this column. E-mail to mferick@tc.umn.edu or write to Growing Concerns, University of Minnesota News Service, 6 Morrill Hall, 100 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis, MN 55455.
