An Option in Whole Family Placement

When I came for the home visit on that cold Minnesota morning, Kathy was crying and stated, "I just can't do this anymore!" The realization that she was not able to parent her children had finally become a reality. Now our job was to help Kathy work through the process of voluntary relinquishment. Although that was a very difficult decision for everyone involved, Kathy was able to make it in a dignified manner without court involvement.

Background

Minnesota Human Service Associates' (HSA's) Whole Family Placement (WFP) Program uses an innovative model for serving parents and children together on a 24-hour basis within the home of a licensed care provider. The program, which has been in place for approximately six years, uses a treatment team (consisting of HSA staff, a county child welfare worker, the care provider, and other family members or professionals involved with the family) to help the participant parent make concurrent permanency plans for her child(ren). From the beginning of a placement, HSA staff discusses with the team whether reunification or relinquishment is in the best interest of the child(ren). Because the parent is involved in this decision, she can feel hopeful about being in charge of the outcome. Giving the parent permission to make choices with a team that will accept her choice is in the best interest of both the child and parent and enables permanency decisions to be made in a mutual, respectful and timely fashion.

Process

Child Protective Services refers families to WFP in an effort to prevent family separation, facilitate reunification, or assist the family in establishing permanency for the children if the parents choose to relinquish their parental rights and responsibilities. Throughout the process, it is clear that relinquishment and reunification are both positive outcomes because the children achieve permanency either way.

At the initial meeting with the parent and county worker, HSA staff begins talking about whether reunification or relinquishment is in the best interest of the child. The team discusses concurrent permanency planning, what that means, and that either choice will be treated with respect and dignity. At this time, the team also identifies clear goals and reachable objectives, and documents what the parent's choices are and the consequences for the parent's behavior.

Throughout the placement, which lasts an average of five months, the team must be very honest with the participant parent about what impact her behavior will have on her child(ren). The team must also agree with "full disclosure" of all issues and maintain ongoing communication so that everyone is working in the same direction. The team should meet on a monthly basis to review the goals and objectives and document the parent's progress in meeting the identified outcomes.

The relationship between the participant parent and the care provider is key during this entire process. The majority of the work is done in the safety and security of the care provider's home, so the care provider must be comfortable in her own mind that relinquishment is an o.k. decision. The care provider needs to be honest, confrontational and very direct in reminding the parent what outcomes are expected and how the parent's behavior leads to the outcome, and continually pointing out to the parent that her decision should be based on her "behavior, not promises." Weekly or monthly progress reports, which look at basic care of the children, parenting skills, and self care of the participant parent, can be completed by the care provider and parent to help monitor the parent's behavior. If the parent has challenges that make parenting impossible, the entire team must be honest with the parent in confronting the challenges and working toward permanency for the child(ren).

Case Illustration

Kathy was placed in the WFP program a few weeks before delivering her third child. Her other two children, previously placed in foster care, joined Kathy in the WFP program. At the onset, the team helped Kathy establish goals and strategies to work toward living independently with her children. At the same time, the team also discussed the court's termination of her parental rights or voluntary relinquishment as other possible outcomes of the placement.

As the months progressed, Kathy struggled in several of the identified goal areas including meeting her children's needs. The treatment team continually asked Kathy questions about how she felt about parenting her children, what she needed to help make the care of her children easier, or if she thought the care of her children was just too difficult. These questions were presented in a matter-of-fact and non-judgmental way, which gave her permission to discuss honestly how difficult it was for her to care for her children and that she was not able to parent them.

As discussion about her options continued, Kathy became increasingly interested in learning more about open adoption. She spoke with a parent who had adopted children and learned more about the process. The team encouraged Kathy to explore all of her options, and HSA staff gave her the names of the many private adoption agencies and additional information about what rights she would have if she chose open adoption. The WFP care provider gave Kathy emotional support and spent many hours discussing her options with her. She was also very accepting when Kathy determined that selecting the adoptive agency and adoptive family for her three children was the very best direction and decision for her and her children.

Conclusion

When a mother or father comes to the realization that they are not able to parent, it is important to allow them to verbalize their choice and to assist them in the "letting go" process. They also need assistance in "re-framing" what they can give their child in their new role. The team needs to give the parent information about what her rights are and how, or if, she can be involved in finding a family for her child(ren). What are the laws around open adoption and kinship adoption? What family continuity or connectedness will the birth parent have when the child moves into another family? The team needs to help the birth parent develop some type of "honoring tool" such as a life book, a closure letter, or a video to pass on to the child(ren). There needs to be a positive closing celebration with the birth parent and new parents.

This is some of the most difficult work that birth parents have to do. We received notes from two families in WFP that both thanked us for "helping them work through the decisions in reference to their children." Although one of the families reunified and the other relinquished, you could not tell the difference in the letters. Both families were equally grateful for having the opportunity to make a tremendously difficult decision, and for being treated with dignity and respect.

© © 2003 National Abandoned Infants Assistance Resource Center