Children love the holidays. They anticipate the festivities with excitement and delight. They are able to dream of the future and simultaneously enjoy the moment. This may be a busy time of the year for them too, but they don't worry over it.

As adults, we may have many responsibilities around the holidays. But even so, we can retain a child's attitude if we are determined.

The problem for many of us is simply that we become unconscious robots at this time of year. We certainly would never intend to turn into grouchy old complainers, but sometimes we do.

Don't let yourself be a holiday whiner! The season provides much fodder for either misery and stress, or for gratitude, peace, and wonder. You decide which experience will be yours.

Which way do you choose to experience your holidays? What will you choose to focus on?

On gift giving... The grouch says, "It's all commercial and I hate the crowds." The child in us says, "It's fun and I love seeing what treasures I can find. Look at the variety of choices! Wow!"

On holiday decorating... The grouch says, "These people decorate too early these days! It's ridiculous!" The child in us says "Neat! I love the colors. It's great people still care enough to decorate!"

On holiday entertaining...The grouch says, "It's too much work". The child in us says, "We get to have a big dinner with all the goodies. I get to experiment!"

On the season of the year...The grouch says, "It's cold and I hate traveling in this kind of weather". The child in us says, "We get to build a cozy fire! The mornings are so peaceful and still this time of year - I love watching the birds and the squirrels".

But what if you have health problems, or money problems, or have had a difficult loss this year? Don't you have a right to be in a lousy mood?

Well, there is a big difference between being concerned about challenging realities and being ruled by them. Being serious and responsible is not the same as being solemn and grim.

Your problems will still be the same whichever outlook you choose for your holidays. If it is a difficult time for you, it is even more important that you deliberately and carefully choose what you say to yourself about the holidays.

Even in the midst of grief or fear, you can remind yourself of beauty around you. You can choose to remember good times instead of bad. And you can choose to accept your situation with as much dignity and serenity as you can muster.

Your holiday is yours. It's not your job to live up to anyone else's idea of what it should be.

And you don't have to fall into the trap of holiday stress.

Focus on whatever brings you peace.