What To Do If Your Kid Smokes or Chews Tobacco
Statistics show that cigarettes cause more deaths than car accidents, AIDS, alcohol and other
drugs, fires, homicides, and suicides combined. Yet each day more than 3,000 kids become regular smokers.
The good news is that deaths caused by
smoking are absolutely preventable. As a concerned parent, you can help your child even if he has begun smoking or using other tobacco products. Read this article to learn how to tell if your child is using tobacco and what to do about it.
Signs of Tobacco UseMost smokers begin their habit as early as age 12 to 14. Some are even younger.
Parents need to be aware of signs of smoking as early as possible.
If you smell smoke on your child's clothing, don't overreact. Ask first. It may mean your child has been hanging around with friends who smoke or that he has simply tried a cigarette. This is a warning sign that needs your attention but it's not necessarily an indication of a confirmed smoker. Many kids do try a cigarette at one time or another, but most do not go on to become regular smokers.
Here are some additional signs of tobacco use:
*coughing
*throat irritation
*hoarseness
*bad breath
*decreased athletic performance
*greater susceptibility to colds
*stained teeth
*shortness of breath
*smokeless tobacco can also stain teeth and clothes.
Teens who have friends who smoke or chew tobacco are more likely to take up these same habits. If your kid's friends smoke or chew tobacco, he may be persuaded to use tobacco, too.
What Should I Do if I Think My Kid Is Already Smoking or Chewing Tobacco?Talking to kids about smoking and smokeless tobacco when they are young is a good way to help keep them from taking up the habit, but it may not be enough to stop your kid from experimenting with tobacco. Communication with your child is still key. Try these tips:
*Uncover what about smoking appeals to your child, and examine it frankly.
*Resist reciting the long-term consequences of smoking or using tobacco. Children may not be able to appreciate how their current behaviors can affect their future well-being.
*Remind your child about the immediate downsides to smoking: less money to spend on other pursuits, shortness of breath, bad breath, yellow teeth, and smelly clothes.
*Maintain rules you've established about smoking. For example, don't let your children smoke at home to keep them at home or to keep the peace.
If your child says "I can quit anytime I want," ask him to show you by going cold turkey for a week.
*Offer to match every dollar your child no longer spends on cigarettes.
*Don't nag your child to quit. Ultimately, the decision is your child's - focus on helping your child to make a wise one.
*Help your child develop a quitting plan and offer information and resources. Help your chid understand that it will not be easy and try to provide tools (such as nicotine substitutes) to deal with cravings for nicotine.
*Reinforce your child's decision to quit with praise, an increased allowance, or greater responsibility or freedom.
*Stress the natural rewards that come with quitting: freedom from addiction, improved fitness, better athletic performance and appearance, and more money.
Tips for ParentsWhat if you smoke? Kids are quick to observe any contradiction between what their parents say and what they do. Despite what you might think, most kids say that the adult whom they most want to be like when they grow up is a parent. First, admit to your child that you made a mistake by starting to smoke and that if you had to do it over again, you'd never start. Second, quit. It's not simple by any means, and it may take more than one try and require the extra help of a program or
support group. But your children will be encouraged as they see you overcome your addiction to tobacco.
Although it may be tempting to get angry if you find your child using tobacco, it's probably the least effective method of dealing with it. Instead, it might be better to try to hone your communication skills. Listen to your child carefully to uncover the reasons for smoking. Common reasons include:
Independence and AdulthoodKids who use tobacco to appear grown up miss the obvious tobacco trap. Most adults who smoke today began puffing as teenagers and would love to quit, but struggle to do so. Pointing out this basic contradiction to your child might stop this line of reasoning.
Risk and Rebellion Although it may be difficult to talk to your child if he sees cigarettes or smokeless tobacco as a way to stand apart from the crowd, keep the channels of communication open as best you can. Remind your child of the vast distance between the media image of cool smokers and the reality of the situation. When was the last time the Marlboro Man coughed up blackened phlegm? Does your child know that the original Marlboro Man died an awful death from
cancer and urged people not to smoke before he died? How often do two smoking lovers wheeze sweet nothings into one another's ear? Convey the message that individuality is one thing, lighting up is another.
Chilling OutAdolescence is a stressful time and smoking has long been viewed as relaxing. To help your child cope with stress, stay on top of how things are going with regular chats. Is there a specific reason your child needs relief? What's bothering him? You might offer a few personal stress management techniques (such as exercise or meditation) that don't involve tobacco. Aim to make your home an environment where problems are solved rather than created.
Updated and reviewed by: Kim Rutherford, MD
Date reviewed: July 2001
Originally reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD