"My stomach hurts too much, Mum. I don't think I can go to school today. " Ten-year-old Ian is lying on his bed, his face to the wall. As she watches her son, April decides it's time to address the problem. "Ian," she says, "this is the fourth time this month that you have made an excuse to stay home from school. What's going on?"

After a few moments of silence, Ian turns to his parent and finds his voice. "There's this kid in my class who's picking on me," he says. "He's always making fun of me. Sometimes, he pushes me around. The other kids just laugh. He's big and I'm scared."

In times past, bullying was often considered to be a normal part of school life. Bullies were boys being boys and the bullied child was simply encouraged to stand up for him or herself.

But times have changed. Research has shown that bullying can have lasting negative consequences for children, affecting their self-esteem as well as their school performance.

Given the outcome, parents should intervene quickly when they suspect a peer is physically or verbally abusing their child.

First, comfort the bullied child. Tell him that you understand his fear and will do all you can to protect him. Advise him to try to ignore the bully's taunting and to stay with others in the playground. Counsel the child that fighting back can lead to increased victimization.

You also might want to spend some time helping your child learn how to deal with conflict situations. Similarly, help him to get involved in activities and organizations that will increase his sense of self-confidence, the first line of defense against bullying.

Involve your child's school, the place bullying usually occurs. Educators can do much to prevent bullying by implementing a school-wide anti-bullying program.

© Algoma Family Services