You've read about wars in your history books and learned how wars have changed history, often bringing out both the worst in humans and the most noble. But learning about wars in class - or even seeing images of them on TV or in the movies - seems very different when a war happens in your lifetime. That's especially true if a member of your family or someone else you care about is involved.

Many men and women are being called to serve during this conflict. Hundreds of thousands in uniform already are overseas - and more are being sent. In war, some will face hazards that may bring injury or even death.

Despite the danger to themselves, everyone in the U.S. military has volunteered. That means that they have chosen the difficult responsibility to serve where their nation's leaders have determined that they are needed. Still, even if they have chosen to go, it's difficult having your father or mother, uncle or aunt, brother, sister, cousin, or friend sent into danger.

How Do You Deal With That?

Well, it's not always going to be easy. It's scary to think that someone you care about could be harmed. That's true even if you know that he or she is well-trained and equipped and that every effort will be made to minimize casualties. If people tell you to not think about it, they're not being very realistic, even if they mean well. Until your relative or friend comes back safe, you're going to be worried. Maybe not all the time, but it's natural to be worried some of the time. It doesn't make sense to pretend otherwise.

If worrying gets too intense, though, it can interfere with the everyday activities of life, like sleep, appetite, or ability to learn or concentrate. Anxiety can affect grades, too.

Worrying about others can cause people to act in ways they normally wouldn't - like being short-tempered or irritable. Or being forgetful or distracted. Too much worrying also can cause physical feelings, like headaches, stomachaches, or tightness in the chest. When worry is intense, telling an adult how you're feeling can help you get the extra support you need to get through the tough situation.

Whether your worries about war are mild or intense, it helps to know how to deal with things. That way, you can do your best while those you care about are away.

Reviewed by: Neil Izenberg, MD, and D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: March 2003