Teens are often very expressive in their dress and personal appearance. They might be creative in how they wear clothes or what they do with their hair. What do you do when your teen's style embarrasses you?

First off, try to relax about what other's think. Your teen is attempting hard to find their own personality and trying our different personas is part of it. That often includes some outrageous clothing styles. Do not worry about what others think. Parents, especially those of teens will commiserate, other folks will live through it. Wearing outrageous looks is a very big part of being a teenager.

If their new style isn't too sexy, promoting violence or drugs, or illegal- don't lose too much sleep over it. Try to keep these boundaries reasonable and also take into consideration where the style is being worn. In our foster home, we had strict rules about clothing for school, church, doctors, court, and when we were going to a more formal social function. Otherwise, around the house and when they went out with friends, they could wear what they wished. Although some of the outfits were beyond description, and truly were the result of a skewed sense of what looks good, it was not worth fighting about.

For each of you, there is something about clothing or style that would drive you crazy. I know older folks who cannot stand if their pants are not creased just right or their shoes are not polished. Some of you get completely bent out of shape if hair is not combed just right. Some of our rules don't apply as they once did years ago. We still want to encourage kids to look their best, to be clean, and practice good grooming. I knew a foster parent who would take any child unless they had blue hair. She couldn't stand that. It drove her crazy.

Be sure to keep all this in perspective. If you have a teen that is abusing drugs and alcohol, you must not put appearance at the top of your priority list. A child that is part of a gang or turning violent to family members has behaviors that require immediate action and solutions. This child's appearance may be awful, but we need to first turn around the destructive behaviors and keep him alive. Prioritize - always.

"Clothing makes the man." Or so the saying goes. But clothing is not the man. Separate how they look from who they are, but eventually help them find a style that is more acceptable in a non-confronting way.

Kids need to learn some lessons on their own. An appearance that makes a bad first impression may keep them from having a social life, getting dates, or landing a job. This is a natural consequence and a very good lesson to be learned by experience.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel