Keep It Simple

No matter what type of parenting style you use, all parents can benefit from the principle of K.I.S.S. It stands for keep it simple stupid, but I've heard it changed to keep it simple sweetie, which is a much nicer expression. It goes a long with the less is more theory and other ideas that stress making life less complicated.

Parents in the midst of crisis and difficulties with their challenging teens begin to devise schemes of great complication. They add more rules to the list that the teen now disobeys. They produce consequences with various turns and so many 'ifs ands and buts' that anyone would be confused. They engage in subterfuge and espionage tactics that rival master spies. Life becomes so devious, so full of layers of subtleties that no one knows what to expect including the parent.

When things reach this point, it is sometimes too late to be helpful. Get a grip on the basics way before you engage in reconnaissance missions and add a lie detector test to your arsenal. Kids need rules. They need consequences for those rules they break and ignore. Parents need to keep these things simple, and adding consequence upon consequence for each new outburst from your teen is not effective. Parents need to be consistent so teens know ahead what to expect. Then when they make a bad choice, you announce the consequence. (The one they already knew to expect, and you are done.) Simple isn't it?

Simplicity in running our lives is a lesson we all could benefit from and a valuable way to add harmony. Do what you can do and remember the serenity prayer. Keep those expectations for you and your kids reasonable, since setting goals so high no one can reach them is unproductive. Reorganize your day to allow time not scheduled. Use this time to relax, to think to just 'be'. Keep your answers and arguments short and to the point. It is hardly worth your time to engage in long explanations of everything you say and do and often leads to power struggles. Use those 30-second messages to say what you must say and then walk away.

Life gets more complicated daily with all we must do and the various roles we all play. Take control of what you can by simplifying life at home. The results will be startling. Control only those things that could result in dangerous situations. Let go of all the rest, and modify the way you deal with problems. Whenever life starts to look like an endless maze, think K.I.S.S.

Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel

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