Parents Need to Be in Charge
Parents need to be in charge. Too many parents let their children decide what rules they will or will not obey. It seems so hard for parents today to take control of their own children. Why is that?In the past, parents set the rules and announced the consequences for breaking those rules, and then they enforced them. There appears to be a lack of conviction on the parent's part to believe they are within their rights to do this.
Much of the new and recent parenting methods preach giving the teen more responsibility. I have no argument with that idea. The problem becomes serious when the teen gains responsibility and the parents relinquish all of theirs too soon.
A teen needs and wants a parent to exercise their controls and put boundaries on their actions. They may not ask for it, but they know it means their parents real care bout them. Don't expect them t jump up and down with delight and tell you how wonderful you are for setting curfew. It will never happen. But most teens have at least one friend or acquaintance that has parents who do not care enough to put any limits or restrictions on their kids. These may be the ones who are trying desperately to be their kid's buddies. They want their children to think they are cool more than respect them. They are afraid if they impose rules on their teens; they will push their children away.
Rebellion of adolescence may mean a withdrawal from family an attempt to separate themselves from parental interference and control. This is often a natural part of growing up. Unfortunately, imposing no rules does not help rebellion. I agree the fewer rules, the better. I believe rules must be reasonable and appropriate. Too much freedom is not the answer, however.
Parents are often afraid of how far they can go since some previously used parenting methods are now considered abuse and a parent who engages in those things may end up in jail. We must give control back to the parents and only interfere in cases of actual abuse. The situation we are now in means parents are afraid of their children and this results in ineffective parenting. I certainly want to protect kids, but parents must be able to raise children as they see fit as long as they are not beating them and abusing them.
Too may people have sent the message to children that they are in charge of their own little lives and this message is wrong. This is not what God intended. If we look at the responsibility of a parent and all the influences out there trying to screw up our children and families, it is evident parents must take control again.
Credits: Jo Ann Wentzel
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