The Gift of Life is Irreplaceable

My name is Allison. I am happily married and just getting ready to turn 30. My husband and I are birthparents to a beautiful boy named, Sam.

Our story begins years ago. We now have 3 children that we raised: 13, 12, and 3 ½, two boys and one girl. They are all beautiful, health, thriving children. Needless to say, we were young when we began. My husband and I decided back in 2001 that I would get my tubes tied. We went to the Doctor and filled out all the paperwork but there was a 45 day waiting period. One week before my tubal, I went to the Doctor and found out I was pregnant. It was devastating and a rush all at the same time. So many mixed emotions I / we were going through. The thought of having another child was the very last thing either of us could have wanted or did want. We both were trying to finish school and work just to keep our heads above water. The 3 we already had were more than enough to handle.

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One month into my pregnancy was when my husband and I truly started to think about what we were going to do. My husband comes from a Baptist background and a church upbringing, and his father is a minister in the Church with a pro-life belief. I, on the other hand, come from a "hippie" family background that is pro-choice, and to top all that off, I am Caucasian and my husband is Afro-American. My first thought was to get an abortion and go on with our plans, and my husband just could not handle the thought of us going through with that. "Life," he said, "is as precious as the air we breathe."

So I, brought up adoption. We discussed it over and over and over. Both the pro's and the con's of doing it or not doing it. Finally, we decided to put our unborn son up for an open adoption.

I immediately started researching, and we agreed on an adoption lawyer Mr. Durand Cook out of Los Angeles. We lived in San Diego. He welcomed us and made us feel good about our decision. We spoke several times until the day we met in March, 2002. We went to his office to meet with a couple, Ruth and Jerome. The thing I liked so much is there were no forms to read about them; we didn't want that. We gave a description of our likes and wants for (Sam) the baby, and he matched it according to what he felt would be a good match... So that fateful day came. We were so very nervous. I will never forget my husband and I had a moment to ourselves before meeting Ruth and Jerome, and he looked at me and said, "We are doing the right thing. This baby is going to have life and 2 sets of loving parents, which is so much more than so many children have."

I'll never forget when Ruth (adoptive mom) walked in. She was glowing as if she were pregnant herself. She and Jerome had a glowing spirit about them that was so calming for me. We met, and we talked for what seemed to be hours. We laughed and we cried. (I cried.)

The time finally came at the end of the day to think about what we wanted to do. We were so sure they would be perfect in every way, so we asked them to be parents to our unborn son. They felt the happiness we should have felt when we found out we were pregnant. Don't get me wrong, we love him and always will. We just knew we were not ready for another baby, and he was meant to be. He was meant to come and bless so many lives, and that he has done. It's amazing what one life can do for so many people. He truly is an angel.

Sam was born in June, 2002 to Allison, Kinta, Ruth, and Jerome. He has 2 brothers and one sister. And even though we now see him through emails and pictures every couple of months, it's as though he is with us everyday.

Ruth and Jerome have been wonderful parents and people. We know everything there is to know about Sam. My husband and our 3 children are at peace with our decision. Sam is often the topic of conversation around the dinner table or in our day-to-day discussions.

I just hope so many other people out there have as wonderful adopting parents and as good of a transition as we did. The gift of life is irreplaceable.

Thank you for listening to my story.
Allison Elliott (allisonm_elliott@yahoo.com)