Our Miracle Babies

Names have been changed to protect identities.

Jim and Jane Jones met in 1981, became engaged in 1982, married in 1983 and gave birth to their first son, Don, in 1984. Life was rolling along "as it should." The first inkling of a problem was that Don was born three months prematurely. At 2 1/2 pounds, the doctors gave him a 50-50 chance to live. Don won his fight to live. The Jones call him their "miracle baby."

A year later, when they attempted to have another baby, nothing happened. Jim and Jane endured years of infertility testing--to no avail. "We finally decided to make our miracle a different way--by adoption," states Jane. She had met a friend who had adopted successfully through the Independent Adoption Center (IAC) in Pleasant Hill, CA. "Jim and I went to the orientation meeting in July 1988. We liked what we heard and signed up that day," Jane continues, "We weren't real aggressive, but we had 700 letters printed up, telling of our desire to adopt, and sent them out with our Christmas mail that year." In March 1989 the Jones placed their first ad through the IAC in USA Today. Their first lead came in June. They flew a birthmother out from Illinois. When her boyfriend (who wasn't the birthfather) arrived the next day, everything seemed to go downhill. The birthmother returned to Illinois, leaving the Jones family deeply disappointed. They had put their heart and soul into this relationship, and now the birthmother was gone. A second ad in USA Today in January 1990 brought 3 responses. One was from a woman who had a five-day-old baby. The Jones were her second choice. When the first couple backed out (because they had already adopted), the woman made plans to bring the baby to the Jones family. They were all prepared for the baby when the first couple reconsidered and said they would take the baby. Another lead, for a five- month-old baby also fell through. "We began to think that maybe an adoption was not meant to be," explains Jane. "I decided that if we did not adopt by July 31(Don's sixth birthday), we would stop trying."

Jane states their IAC support group and Margie (the support group leader) kept her going when she was ready to quit. Every time I got down, Margie would tell me, "There's a baby out there for you! And I'd pick myself up and begin again." When THE CALL finally came in March, the Jones family was told about Peter and Tiffany by the IAC counselor. Jim and Jane had some concerns about the fact that the birthmother and birthfather were married. However, they established a wonderful rapport by phone. They talked at least twice a week, and when Peter and Tiffany decided to come to California for the birth, they chose to stay with the Jones family before the birth and then at a motel for a few weeks after the birth. The weeks before the birth were a time of getting to know each other and a chance for the birthfamily to see the home of their future son. They had a chance to attend special classes in birth education, to take a tour of the hospital and to talk with their counselor at IAC. Tiffany and Peter asked Jane and Jim to be assistant labor coaches so the birth was a real "family affair." "Tiffany was incredible," reports Jane, "She was having intense contractions and the most she said was, 'Oh, it really hurts.'" We were all in there together. Peter and Jim were giving directions in a whisper until the head crowned. They got so excited they were giving football yells, as if they could push the baby out with their yells. When I looked at Tiffany and saw all the pain of labor on her face, tears flooded my eyes. I felt so touched. This was truly an act of love. "The doctor let Jim cut the umbilical cord," continues Jane. "I can't describe the look of tenderness and awe on his face, as he performed this simple act. It's wonderful to be so intimately involved in the labor process. "All the parents had discussed how the hospital leave-taking would take place. "We didn't want to make the exchange in a restaurant and the hospital chapel was so barren," explains Jane, "so we had our priest, Father John Murphy, prepare a ceremony. It was wonderful. The ceremony began with Tiffany and Peter holding Dale and ended with us holding him. We all had scripture to read. The priest blessed each family and asked God's blessing on us as we began our new life together and on Tiffany and Peter as they went back East.

"Don adores his new little brother. "I didn't expect him to look so cute!" he exclaimed, when they first met. Don has made a book out of construction paper for Dale. On the cover are the words, "I love you. Your brother, Don." "It's all been worth it," smiles Jane, "Now we have two miracle babies!"