Ask the Author: Choosing the Right Name for Your Baby

Bruce Lansky is the #1 author of baby name books in the world. He has compiled and published six baby name books, which have sold well over five million copies. His most recent book, "Baby Names Around the World" (Meadowbrook Press), contains 50,000 names complete with their meanings and derivations.

Q: What are some of the latest trends in naming babies?

Lansky: Over the last few years, I've noticed that parents are increasingly selecting uncommon names. Some parents are "customizing" common names by modifying the spelling or pronunciation. Some parents are even going so far as to make up new names. For those reasons, my most recent baby name book, "Baby Names Around the World," has 50,000 names to choose from plus tips on how to customize a name or make up a new name.

Q: What are some other trends?

Lansky: Girls are often given names that used to be thought of as boys' names. Now there's a large number of names that could be described as "androgynous" in that they are commonly used for boys and girls - names like Terry, Chris, Pat, Cameron, Dana.

Q: What advice would you give to someone who is naming a baby?

BL: I'd suggest that they go back to the fundamentals, many of which are opposite of what is currently trendy. - Pick a name that most people are familiar with. - Pick a name that can be easily spelled and pronounced. - Pick a name with positive image associations. - Pick a name that doesn't lend itself easily to teasing. - Pick a name whose nickname you like. - Don't keep the names you are considering a secret; share them with your friends and relatives to get their reactions. Pick a name that gets a positive response rather than groans.

Q: What do you mean by "positive image associations"?

Lansky: Strange as it may seem, when you hear a name, you are likely to form a mental picture about it. For example, when you hear "Elvis," you probably think of Elvis Presley. When you hear "Adolf," you probably think of Adolf Hitler. And when you hear "Madonna," you probably think of the singer/actress who popularized that name. Some names, like Michael (friendly, handsome, masculine) and Meredith (smart, successful, attractive) are rich in positive associations. Some names, like Elmer (dumb) and Bertha (fat and dumb) are rich in negative associations. I suggest that parents should pick a name that gives off good vibes.

For example, on the first day in school, the teacher does a roll call. The only thing the other students know about a child is what he or she looks like and what his or her name is. Kids are likely to form a quick opinion from just those facts. When your child applies to college or for a job, the admissions director or personnel manager will judge your child by his or her name and what's on the application.

Now consider this scenario: You manage a radio station and you're looking for an advertising salesperson. Several women apply for the job: Bambi, Sara, Chris, Priscilla. Who do you think will do the best job? Well, Bambi sounds like an airhead, Priscilla might be too prissy or delicate, so that leaves Chris and Sara as the most realistic candidates.

In summary, parents should understand that people often do judge a book by its cover, so it makes sense to give your child a name that will be an asset rather than a liability. In "The Baby Name Survey Book," I present the results of a survey of more than 100,000 people conducted by Barry Sinrod. He asked them what they thought of when they heard various names, and I wrote up the results in the book. If parents wonder what people will think of some names they're considering for their baby, they can look up the name in that book.

Q: Sounds like you're a traditionalist.

Lansky: Some names that parents customize or make up give off weird vibes. For example, a name like "Moonbeam" or "Tulip" will create the impression that the child might be goofy or weird. Those names create the impression that the parents are also goofy and weird. Think of all the negative attention that will result, including the endless teasing by peers, who can be very cruel. Why make life miserable for your child when a well-chosen name can give him or her a head start? I almost forgot to mention that customized names are often difficult to pronounce and spell. Before you decide on a customized name, think how many times your child will have to correct someone's spelling or pronunciation.

Q: Is there any other bit of advice you'd like to pass along?

Lansky: One of the darnedest things about naming a baby is that it can take nine months to complete. You and your spouse will find yourselves reading name books and birth announcements. You'll talk about names with anyone who will listen. Because it is an important decision you'll make together, I suggest that you treat it as a relationship-building exercise. It's important that both parents concur in the choice of a name.

I suggest that both parents draw up lists of names. The final choice should be made from a third list of names that both parents like. That way, both parents will feel good about calling the baby by its name. You'd be surprised how many parents insist on calling the baby by the name they proposed rather than the name on the birth certificate. In other words, do what you can to enjoy the process of naming the baby, and make the decision jointly.
 

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