Our Adoptive Dad is an Exceptional "Roll" Model

I want to share with you a little bit about my husband and our family. He is truly an "exceptional" parent and is a perfect example of how a person with a significant disability can make a difference in the lives of others.

Jim Silcock is 36 years old and the parent of 15 children. He is the adoptive father of nine children with severe physical and medical special needs. He is also the foster father to six children with multiple handicaps.

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The Silcock boys range in age from 2 to 21 years old. The children have disabilities such as Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome, Seizure Disorders, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Spina Bifida, and various other birth defects and developmental disabilities. Some of the children have been prenatally exposed to drugs, suffered from severe child abuse and neglect, or have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses. Abandoned by their biological parents or removed from their birth families by the courts, many of the children had been in the foster care system or living in state-run institutions for years. These children were left with relatively little hope for permanency or adoption before being matched with our family.

It is obvious that Jim absolutely loves caring and advocating for his children. Jim has not only provided a warm and loving home for these children, he has also provided his boys with opportunities to grow and progress well beyond any of the professional's expectations and predictions. His kids are incredible, it is a treat to watch the boys grow and make progress. Jim takes pride in not only providing a "forever family," but also a highly stimulating, and wonderfully loving home for his children.

Jim maintains a very active role in his children's lives. During most days, Jim can usually be seen around the community with at least a couple of kids in tow. On any day of the week, if you can't catch Jim at home, you might find him at any of several places---playing at the park, shuttling his sons to their after school lessons (horseback riding, karate, art, acting and swimming), attending WCW Wrestling matches and Hanson concerts (often against his will) attending his children's performances, or just hanging out with his boys. Additionally, Jim finds time to volunteer in the classroom and run a full-time business providing housing assistance to other individuals with developmental disabilities.

Jim gets so excited watching the children develop their skills, not to mention their interests and personalities. As they experience success, inevitably their self-esteem grows. Sometimes Jim's kids have made giant gains, like Barry who spent over half of his life in the state hospital for people with severe disabilities. When Barry was placed in foster care with Jim, he was considered very medically fragile. Diagnosed with spina bifida, shunted hydrocephalus, a seizure disorder, and Arnold Chairri Syndrome, along with dependency on a tracheotomy, gastrostomy, and a urostomy made Barry a very difficult to place into foster care. Six years later, at the age of 14, Barry is a fully included ninth grader at the neighborhood high school. He is now a Blue Belt with a Green Stripe in karate, competing against his peers without disabilities. During a recent regional tournament in Las Vegas, Barry took first place in his division!

Robert is another incredible story. After a near drowning child-abuse incident, Robert was institutionalized at the age of two. At that time, Robert could neither walk, talk, nor feed himself. He was considered profoundly retarded and severely physically handicapped. Robert was placed from the institution into Jim's foster home. Robert is now 18 years old. While still considered moderately developmentally delayed, he walks, he talks, he feeds himself, and he is a movie star! Robert has been in a number of movies (including "Touch" and "Crocodile Tears"), commercials, public service announcements, and plays. Robert is now represented by one of the major agents in the industry Bob Preston, from CED. Because he has worked so much in the entertainment field, Robert is a member of The Screen Actor's Guild. Robert is fully included with his non-handicapped peers in The Performing Arts Academy at Huntington Beach High School. Robert is so popular now he even has a girlfriend!

Joe's transition is another wonderful example of Jim's parenting ability at work. Joe is a 12 year old, very intelligent boy, who happens to have quadriplegia. He spent the first nine years of his life in a very abusive and neglectful home. Joe's biological parents hid Joe, never allowing him to leave his apartment. Each day, his biological parents told Joe what a "burden" he caused them. He was also severely physically abused and medically neglected. From age 9-12, Joe lived in foster care. With his severe disability, his age, and his emotional problems, the prospect of a family adopting Joe was extremely limited. At age 12, Joe was adopted in to our family. When Joe moved from South Carolina to our home in California, he was shy and withdrawn. He preferred to sit in his room and watch TV all day. He had only limited ability to use his power wheelchair and very few experiences in the community. Joe's self-help skills were also extremely limited. Unfortunately, Joe's attitude about his disability often interfered with his ability to learn new skills. Well, a lot of things have changed for Joe recently. With Jim's sense of humor, his encouragement and his role modeling, Joe has learned many new ways of being independent. He has learned how to use a reacher to get items off of the floor, transfer in and out of bed, and drive his power wheelchair in stores without knocking down displays! Most of all, Joe is being to model Jim's positive attitude towards life. Joe frequently comments to others, "if my dad can do it, I can do it!" While he still has a long way to go, it is wonderful to see Joe beginning to feel proud of himself, and embrace his daily challenges with a sense of humor and a "can do" attitude.

Sometimes, of course, the gains the children make are not quite as dramatic, but they are no less spectacular. Take Eric for example, he is a quadriplegic with multiple and profound disabilities. When Eric moved-in to Jim's home at the age of five, he behaved very much like a fussy infant. He cried most of the time; he could not roll over in bed, or sit unassisted. Eric used a g-tube for all of his nutritional needs, and wore diapers 24 hours a day. Eric is now a happy little guy who will soon celebrate his tenth birthday. Today, he not only eats regular food, but he feeds himself. Eric is almost completely toilet-trained. He can scoot all over the floor, sit in a regular chair, stand, and he is beginning to walk with a walker! I could go on and on about the boys, as each child has a story to tell that is just as exciting.

What makes Jim's story even more remarkable is the fact that Jim himself is also severely disabled. Jim sustained a broken neck as a result of a diving accident in 1987. Jim is a C-5 quadriplegic, with only limited use of his arms and upper body. He is unable to walk or even stand. He uses a power wheelchair for mobility, a ceiling mounted I-TEC lift to get in and out of bed, and drives, with hand-controls, a specially designed minivan.

As you are aware, sometimes people who have suffered from such traumatic high-level spinal cord injuries have difficulty accepting their disability and limitations. Often they focus on finding a "cure" and returning to their pre-injury status. Many people with spinal cord injuries, it seems, spend much of their time advocating for themselves in order to receive the services they need to get through each day. With all of the physical care and health issues related to a spinal cord injury, it is often difficult for a person with paralysis to get through the day with a positive attitude and a sense of humor. Jim, it seems, is one of the exceptions to the rule. As a parent and a foster parent, Jim focuses his unending energy and excellent advocacy skills on bettering the lives for all of the children in his home. Every day, Jim is a positive role model as an adult with a disability who has an education and is successfully, working and parenting.

Jim is a patient, warm, and caring father and husband. Jim is not only a wonderful role model for his children, but also an inspiration and a hero for anyone who has the opportunity to cross his path.

If you are interested in finding out more about Jim and his family please feel free to contact us.
Jim Silcock
Ann Belles
20541 Minerva Lane
Huntington Beach, CA 92646
(714) 965-3027 or (714) 964-1327

Credits: Ann Belles