The Evolution of a Proverbs 31 Woman

I wish I could claim I was born with the heart of a Proverbs 31 woman. But I was not.

I was raised in the 60s and 70s when girls were trained for something better than what their moms had. That "something better" translated into a devaluing of family life and an overemphasis on careers.

I bought the line, lock, stock and barrel. I completed undergraduate school and went on to law school. Children and a happy marriage were never really in the picture. If I married, it would have to fit in around my career.

An early, ill-advised first marriage ended for me in law school. My ambition was not discouraged. At all costs, I would become a lawyer.

I met that goal and practiced for many years until an emptiness settled into my life. I had given my all for my career, and I found myself sitting home reflecting on the happier days of my childhood in a home filled with lots of kids and lots of love.

The Lord was preparing my heart for the joy he had in store for me! I had tried life the world's way. It was time to try it God's way.

I met my husband at the courthouse. When we tell the story to the kids we say, "Our eyes met across the courtroom and we fell in love." Actually, it took quite a while. He had an early, ill-advised marriage as well, so we both proceeded cautiously into a relationship. I saw character qualities in him that I admired a great deal. Was he the one God had in mind?

We eventually married and after a few years began to plan to have a family. In the normal" career striving of the modern couple, we never doubted our fertility. While climbing the ladder of success, we treated our ability to conceive and bear children like a light we could switch on and off. We would save X amount of money, then have a baby. It all seemed so perfect and logical.

God had other plans. After fertility problems and miscarriages, we adopted our first daughter. Seventeen months later, our second daughter was born to us biologically. We fit neatly into the estimated 8% of infertile couples who adopt and then conceive. Our daughters were a delight! It was after the Lord sent this one-two punch that I left the workforce to become a full time mommy, and I have never looked back.

Since then, we have adopted two more - a girl and a boy - from Korea. We live, love and home school our family, counting each day as a blessing. I count as one of my life verses the verse of praise in Psalm 113:9 which says, "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children." (NIV)

What has changed? Hearts and lives. God settled the unsettling striving of my heart and sent me peace in the form of little children. My husband and my children have taught me to slow down and savor life, even on the days that it makes you crazy!

God has changed my focus. Instead of looking to achieve in the world, I seek now to raise little souls whose lives will somehow glorify God. There is no more satisfying work.

God has helped me become a servant. Instead of always seeking what is best for "me, first," I am able to more often put the needs of others first, although I still struggle with selfishness in this area

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God has taught me to be a help meet to my husband. Instead of remaining in a power struggle which constantly sought to assess whose work was most important or who had changed the most diapers, we now put our hands to the plough together to do the work which the Lord has called us to do.

Do my children arise and call me blessed? (Proverbs 31: 28). Most days not. But someday I will stand before God to be called to account for how I have shepherded the little ones he has sent. It is His blessing I seek, no longer the world's.

Life holds no greater satisfaction.