I am Grandma Gay (They Ran to Me)

I am one year post reunion. I am the birth mother. I gave my daughter up to better her life. It turns out that she had challenges I would not have approved of, as we all do. At first I was angry. I didn't raise her because I knew I had emotional issues that made me a questionable candidate for motherhood. The adoptive mother, and father, had no such concerns even though she had a history of mental difficulties. Still, I think she was better off, or maybe I am. I would not want to be facing my mirror having done what she did. But that's easy to say with 20/20. I have raised 2 subsequent children and we all make mistakes.

for California

I believed in the depths of my soul that if the fates were kind I would meet her again. I felt I deserved it. I did not search. I did, however, post. Even though the law said she could find me when she turned 18 I had to wait until she was 26. After writing a letter or poem every birthday, I had finally given up. Yet within a month of my giving up she called. What a glorious day. What a prayer answered.

She, with the first call made me a grandmother. 3 times. I went to her as quickly as I could. It happened to be a week later because of the distance. But those babies ran to me. They loved me because she did. I have made 6 trips in total and they are always thrilled to see me. I am Grandma Gay. I shiver to my depths when I think of it.

August 23rd we are having a family reunion. They are coming! And it's a secret. Except to the hostess, my lovely sister Colleen. I have 7 brothers and sisters and all but 1 will be there. I sent an official count of 5 but it's truly 10. Last year it would have been 3. My 2 children that I had the good fortune to watch grow up are as excited as I am. They have always known about their sister. We had a birthday party every year just the 3 of us. My son and I were fortunate enough to spend May 29th, her actual birthday, with her this year. And now my brother Tim, her godfather, and my sister Sue, her godmother, will get to love her once more. Everyone in my family will let her know she was missed, and welcome her once more.

I don't know if this relates to any of you, but it fills my heart and I believe my darling Jernae/Amy's heart with joy and expectation that I pray will not be disappointed.