From Russia With Love

The Adoption of Elizabeth Svetlana McKeown Drialo

Why Russia? At one time or another, everyone who heard we were adopting from Russia asked us that question. We chose Russia because of their liberal policies on age and religion, the enormous number of waiting children and my Russian heritage. My great grandmother was Russian, orphaned at the age of three and raised in a convent orphanage. Somehow, it just felt right to choose Russia. Eventually we would come to believe that Russia, in a strange and almost mystical way, had also chosen us.

Our adoption story began as so many do, with three years of doctors and tests, hope and disappointment endured in the quest to become parents. We succeeded in becoming pregnant twice. Two little heartbeats. Two tiny sonograms. And two tiny deaths. We discussed adoption often, but somehow it always seemed so difficult, complicated and risky. After the second pregnancy loss we realized that adoption guaranteed something that another pregnancy would not; a living, breathing child. We decided to adopt.

We chose Lutheran Family Services in Raliegh, NC for our home study and post placement work and Cradle of Hope Adoption Center in Washington, DC for our international placement. Our decision to adopt was made in April, 1994, and our motto was "A Baby by Christmas!" Since we didn't have much time we exercised every time-saving measure offered to us, finished our autobiographies in record time, and pestered our social workers, Melissa Gibbs and Helene Casper, as much as we could. They came through beautifully. Our home study was finished in July and by September we had our referral of a beautiful baby girl.

Since Russian law requires that all children adopted internationally must have a "medical problem" we reviewed a long list of medical conditions and indicated which ones we were emotionally and financially able to handle. Cleft lip and palate was high on our list. We felt we could be good parents of a child with a cleft and we have Dr. David Matthews, one of the premier cleft palate surgeons in the country here in Charlotte.

Our baby, Svetlana, had a wide complete unilateral cleft lip and palate. She was also underweight and somewhat anemic but otherwise healthy. We accepted the referral immediately. The final paperwork was done and the invitation to travel came from the Russian government in late November. On December first I left for Birobidjhan, in the Russian Far East. Richard was unable to go with me, but I wouldn't be the only American in Birobidjhan. Cradle had arranged for another American couple, Paula and John Roderick, to travel at the same time.

We flew first to Moscow, spent a day sightseeing and acclimating to the time change and then began an over 9-hour flight across Russia to Khabarosk. Russia is a huge country! In Khabarosk we boarded the Trans-Siberian Railroad and soon Paula, John and I were in Birobidjhan, the small town that was the first home of our little girls.

In both Moscow and Birobidjhan the Rodericks and I were housed with local families. Although the apartments were small and simply furnished we couldn't have been better cared for in a four-star hotel. Our hosts spoke English, were genuinely thrilled to meet us and did everything they could to make us comfortable. They were great cooks! We had translators and paperwork coordinators in both cities. They worked very hard to be sure we enjoyed our trip and that our paperwork moved swiftly through the government system. I became very fond of my translator in Birobidjhan, Larisa, and I have kept in touch since I returned home.

My first meeting with our daughter was magic. A nurse carried her into the room, a thin, pale china doll with merry blue eyes and the widest grin I'd ever seen. She went straight into my arms, put her cheek against mine and wrapped her little arms around my neck. I was in love. She was so sweet and loving, I could see that she had been as well cared for as the resources of the Birobidjhan community could manage.

Although the surroundings were spartan it was clear that the children received lots of love and attention. I met most of the babies in the hospital and many of the older children in the Children's Home. The babies were happy and curious and the older children were warm, outgoing and well mannered. This was no foreign orphanage horror story!

I spent two weeks in Russia. Both weekends were spent in transit, my first work week was spent in Birobidjhan and the second week in Moscow. I was only scheduled for three days in Moscow to clear our daughter's paperwork with the American Embassy, but I picked up a bronchial "bug" and extended my trip by two days to recover.

We returned home on December 16th with nine days to spare on our "A Baby by Christmas" goal! It was the merriest Christmas of our lives!

In January our daughter had her first appointment with her surgeon. Since then she has had two surgeries; the first to put in her Latham appliance and the second to close her hard palate. She tolerated both beautifully. In July she is scheduled to have her lip and soft palate surgery. She is growing and thriving and adding fresh joy to our lives every day. She is totally and completely our little girl.

We are sure that this child was meant for us. The pregnancy loss that brought us to adoption happened on November 25, 1993. On the other side of the world, far away in Birobidjhan, our daughter was born, on November 25, 1993.

We chose Russia, and Russia chose us.

Richard McKeown and Donna Drialo live, with their beautiful daughter, Elizabeth at
2520 Roundabout Lane,
Charlotte, NC, 28210.
They would be happy to correspond with others, especially those who are involved with their own Russian adoptions.

Credits: Richard McKeown & Donna Drialo