No Reflection

I am an adoptee that is 38 years old. I have been searching for my birth family for 20 years. In February, it will have been 10 years that I have been listed with the Confidential Intermediary Program. I am a vast cornucopia of useless information. Well, nothing that gets me any closer to finding my family. I have found my birthmother's second marriage records, but am lost after that. Marrying in another county sure can mess things up.

inCalifornia Want to adopt? Pregnant? click here

I have a brother and two sisters that I would love to meet. I was born by C-section on 05/26/65 in Methodist Hospital in Indianapolis, IN. My birthmother's name at that time was Phyllis A. Harless-Wade. I have tons of tidbits and interesting facts, such as my adoption bordered on being illegal. The lawyer that handled my adoption was Wilfred Seyfreid. He was well-known for covering his tracks. If it were not for his being deceased, I would certainly call him up and tell him what a wonderful job he did.

I can post my info all over the internet, but if no one looks, what good does it do? I praise the ISRR, and pass their info to as many as I can. But, how can one be sure that a 61-year-old mother will be surfing? It took me years to learn of decent sites to turn to for help. I recently found out that birth dates could have been changed by the state or the adoptive parents. Where does that leave us adoptees? The deck is already stacked against us, and now this.

I am not alone though; my adopted sister is also searching. Michele was born on 11/15/62. She is overwhelmed at the prospect of searching for a Judith Smith. It is a tireless search that stretches your nerves and wallets to obliteration. Just when you can't take any more, you get a tidbit. Joy and happiness flood over you, and you're recharged for the next step. How many steps I've taken over the last 20 years.

I want to meet this family, to share stories and learn from my ancestors. When my daughter was nine, she asked, "Why do you want to search?" I replied, "When you look at me, you see a reflection of yourself and are comforted". I want that same comfort. I want my life to start to make some sort of sense. From what I've found, everyone was lied to at one point or another in the adoption world. Make it easier on everyone, post your info!! Go to good, decent sites that will help protect your information. Give your searchers a little help to find you. Bless all of you that are searching or are being searched.

Amy Lane
Franklin, IN.
alane@franklinisp.net