The Amazing First Year

Each one of us has experienced but don't remember our first baby year. What we know about the birth year comes from observing our own or other children. It is such an amazing year!! During those first 12 months a very dependent infant becomes increasingly independent in so many areas (although not accomplished in all aspects of movement and thinking). In the first year the average baby triples his birth weight (up to about 19-21 pounds) and adds about 10 inches in length (up to about 29-30 inches). She learns to roll over between 3 and 6 months, to sit up between 5 and 9 months, to stand between 8 and 11 months, to take some steps (some even alone) by 12 to 14 months, and some children even say a few words by their first birthday.

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Many parents and professionals are aware that by 3 or 4 months of age babies have made great strides in calming themselves and even some fussy babies begin to settle down. The baby who seemed to live only for frequent feedings and close contact for comfort from his caretakers is now sleeping for longer stretches and eating less frequently. He delights his parents by responding with smiles at their faces and voice and with other signs of pleasure. Her body systems are maturing so that she will be ready for simple, soft foods soon and so even babies with sensitive digestive tracts are becoming more comfortable. This is seen as bowel movements become less frequent and more solid, even for breastfeeding babies. Watch for him to turn his head in the direction of sounds and follow moving objects with his eyes.

However, even though babies are progressing in so many ways they still cry frequently when they are tired, hungry or in discomfort. This is one way they can communicate with their caregivers. Many parents have learned by now to recognize these differing cries. Such crying may cause some distress in a parent who cannot soothe a child or who is exhausted but it is not a reason to punish the child by shaking or spanking. This is the time when a responsible parent will try to figure out why the baby is crying and, if the distress continues, attempt simple comforting by cuddling, rocking, and/or soothing talk or singing to the baby. Many parents find that before going to a crying baby it helps them to stop in the doorway of the room, take a deep breath, and put a smile on their face. This does wonders in creating a helpful, comforting environment that assists in easing the child's discomfort since it relaxes Mom and Dad.

Four to Eight Months:

From 4 to 8 months of age babies and most parents have settled into a more or less regular routine of feeding and sleeping. The whole family is more easily able to enjoy some excursions out of the house and with other people. The baby's outside world is "opening up". Her muscle control is increasing and the exploration with her hands and mouth results in her reaching for and then being able to grasp a toy more easily. He finds that if he accidentally drops something onto the floor his parents usually react - sometimes with surprise, sometimes with disapproval - but his actions are getting a response. Therefore, he may begin to continue this "game" by pushing the object back onto the floor in order to see if he gets the same response. Although this might be upsetting to Mom or Dad the baby does not do this to upset them. His smile at having a response to his actions is one of accomplishment - of having an effect upon his world. This should not result in punishment since it is done innocently and as a part of his learning process.

When parents feel the "play" has gone on long enough they can either move the object out of the baby's reach and say "Don't throw" or divert his attention to a more acceptable activity. But parents should remember that babies learn by repeating actions over and over again.

Stranger anxiety is common around 6 to 8 months of age. Babies may start to cry when their parents leave the room or when a less familiar person comes into view. This is a another positive step in children's development since it demonstrates the development of a strong attachment to their caregivers. Also their senses are more developed and they are aware now of the differences between other people and those who have been lovingly caring for them. Keeping exposure to new people and places at a minimum, introducing strangers in a calm manner, and approaching children slowly will help babies move through this stage in a few months.

Most babies will now be sleeping longer, often through the night, although this is also the time some babies start teething. This, as well as illnesses, can interfere with sleeping and eating routines. Crying, again, should never be a cause for punishment since it is still one form of communication. Many experts suggest that often the crying will stop if the baby is left alone for at least 5 minutes (this may seem like a very long time to a tired parent!). If the distress continues the parent should try to determine the cause, try to quiet the baby with gentle and calm attention such as gentle patting to ease the baby back to sleep. Parents should try not to pick up the baby since this often will cause the baby to insist on being picked up whenever he awakes in the night. This is a difficult pattern to interrupt. If the crying continues or begins again the parent should wait the 5 minutes again and then go in to comfort again if necessary. If parents are firm about not picking up the baby and not staying in the room the pattern of crying should end and the baby will gain the competence to get himself to sleep after night wakings. Since babies are individuals, families who experience trouble with night wakings should consult with their doctor or parent educator for more specific steps to use with their child.

Eight to Twelve Months:

From 9 to 12 months babies really explore their worlds!! Their mobility continues to increase. They stand, then "cruise" along furniture and then take their first walking steps. Making the home as accident proof as possible is essential - gateways at open stairways, false plugs in electric outlets, moving breakable objects away from the edges of tables - since babies at these ages are not aware of danger. Parents need to be alert and anticipate a possible accident even when precautions have been taken to safety proof the home. By setting some realistic physical limits both parents and baby can feel more secure in allowing baby to experience the excitement of exploring new places and new opportunities.

The new sounds babies make are beginning to sound like parts of words - "da", "ba", and a little later, "ma". Babies now are understanding some simple words of their parents' language although they may not understand the exact meaning of the words. Parents communicate with babies by continuing to talk about what is going on in the babies' world, continuing to read books and to play music. Babies also pick up language cues through facial expressions, attitudes and body posture and movement.

Separation anxiety may be seen in this last period of the first year so introduction to a new baby sitter should be planned carefully, even if this sitter is an infrequently-seen family member. Rules need to be set by parents so that all sitters and relatives know and respect the appropriate and reasonable limits that parents have set for safety and behavioral issues. The more consistency there is, the easier time a baby will have accepting the family's ground rules. Babies will want to push caretakers beyond those limits but if caretakers hold their mutually-agreed upon ground babies will learn what is acceptable and what is not. This is discipline which leads to self-discipline. Remember, a one year old does not have rational judgment and is depending upon his parents to guide him through the growing years. Long-term observations by many experts and research studies have verified the importance of the role of a loving caretaker who sets reasonable limits and encourages exploration and play. Parents will have some anxious moments but they should utilize the many resources available to them - relatives, friends, other parents, medical providers, parent education and support programs and classes, etc.- to assist in this very important but very rewarding task called parenthood. May you have great success!!

If you have questions after reading this article, you can contact Infoline by dialing 211 and asking for information regarding a parenting program in your area.