From Dream to Reality

My name is Jenny, and I was adopted at birth. As I was growing up I had so many dreams of what my birth mother was like, and why she gave me up. I wondered where she was, what she was doing, and if she ever thought about me too.

As I grew older, those feelings started to fade. Never really talking about it, and if someone else brought up the conversation I would quickly end it. I had to stop waiting for a dream that was never going to come true, the dream of someday finding her, my birth mother. I had to leave that dream behind and start living my life.

inCalifornia Want to adopt? Pregnant? click here

It's been many years now; my children are grown and have children of their own. I am now forty-three years old, and the curiosity has never left me. Still the deep dark hole that there is no bottom too. I had to do something about it, so I began my journey. All I had to go on was my birth name, Baby Girl Parrish.

I posted my information on every web site I could find. I searched the registries not knowing what I was looking for, but I searched anyway. I received an email one day from a lady named Colleen telling me my birth mother's maiden name was Adams, and she suggested I request my non-id information. I did not have a clue what that was. She explained and even typed me a form. I mailed in the form to Adoptions Services. It was about six weeks before I received anything from them.

When I opened the envelope and began reading the information they provided me, I started to cry. It was not what it was supposed to be. Not at all! I was so disappointed, and my dream was shattered. But as I continued to read, I discovered I had two sisters and two brothers. The information also stated that my birth father was not told about me. This brought new goals for myself. It wasn't that my father didn't want me, he didn't know about me. And I had siblings, never even thought of that possibility. A few months later a lady named Cathy emailed me and told me one of my brothers's amended names. I wrote him a letter; it was indeed my brother! By finding him, I also found a sister. They were both adopted together.

After talking to me, my sister called her adoptive mother and started questioning her. She knew a lot about our birth mother but would never tell her. My sister got the name Melody out of her. I knew this was our sister. I searched the birth index and sure enough, it was she! She was the only Melody born that year in that county. This meant that I also found my father, because we were supposed to be full sisters. I found my birth dad. Too nervous to call, I paid Tina, a searcher, to make the call. It was he, but his wife said he was sterile. They did give me Melody's phone number though. His parents raised her.

I called Melody, and during our conversation I found out there were two more brothers to add to my list. I found both of them only to be told that there was one more girl born in 1978. Exhausted, but still full of madrilène [adrenaline?] I continued my search. I emailed Cathy back, the lady that had found my one brothers amended name. I asked her if she could please find the siblings' amended names. She did, and it cost me nothing. She had the resources and didn't need money.

Within two days I had found them. Totally overwhelmed, I had one more to go, and nobody could find him. I had found our birth mom a few weeks before. It was a very bad first experience, but has gotten better. But I had to find the last brother. I finally had to pay to get his amended name, and I got it! I found him living only ten minutes away from where I grew up.

As far as my birth father, he called me back a few days later to say he very well could by my father. We took a DNA test, and should receive the results this week. Both he and his wife told me that if the results come back that he is not my father, he would like to be anyway.

My search is now complete, except for actually meeting everyone. Everyone lives in different states; I don't know how it will be possible. Someday, we will unite! My total search took me about six months. I want to give a special thanks to the searchers who gave their time and skills to make this happen! They are Cathy, Tammy, Donna, Tina, and Carole. Thank you very much!! You truly are Angels!