I Am an Adopted Grandmother

In the spring of 1988 I became a grandmother for the first time. I had not held my granddaughter in my arms yet, but I tucked her away in my heart.

Lydia Hee Soo was born in Korea on May 12, 1988 and was supposed to be brought to her adoptive home in the U.S. when she was three months old. As it happened, Seoul, South Korea was hosting the Olympic Games that summer and the Korean government was embarrassed about the number of children who were leaving the country at that time (U.S. citizens adopted more than 5,800 children from Korea in 1987 and 5,000 in 1988). Korea decided to hold the babies who had been adopted an extra three months. That delay seemed like an eternity, so Lydia's father (my son-in-law) flew to Korea to get her instead of waiting for her to come here.

I will never forget the thrill of holding Lydia in my arms that first day. I held her close and hoped she could feel the beating of my heart. I told her not to be frightened because she was home now and would never be alone again.

Lydia soon got to know her new family and to feel comfortable. She received plenty of hugs and kisses, and when she learned to talk, Lydia would request a BIG hug-the kind that would get her high enough to see the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator.

I am sure I am not the only grandmother who has experienced the exquisite pleasure of getting to know a new grandchild. Fortunately, I had the same wonderful reaction three years later when my second granddaughter, Emily Min Hwa, was born in Korea on April 7, 1991.

While Lydia and Emily were babies, I decided I would start separate diaries for them. In the years to come they could read about how they changed so many lives for the better and how much they are loved. Emily will be able to read about how she loved the dresses I made for her and sometimes wore two or three dresses at the same time. Once she came down the stairs in one of my dresses and three different colored socks on. I said, "Oh Emily, I don't believe your socks match."

She replied, "It's all right Gram, I'm a rainbow." Indeed, she is my rainbow.

I've also recorded how patient Emily has been during surgeries to correct her cleft lip and cleft palate. She had her first surgery just a few months after arriving home, a second surgery the following spring, and yet another surgery a couple years ago that involved using a piece of her hip bone to repair a space between her teeth. She couldn't eat anything solid for six weeks after that surgery, but never whined or cried about it. In fact she was quite amused one day when I forgot to put the lid on the blender and sprayed canned spaghetti puree all over the kitchen. After that, Emmie always reminded me to put the top on the blender.

In the diary for Lydia, I've recorded how helpful she was during Emily's recoveries from surgery. She helped to entertain her sister after all three surgeries and, after the recent surgery, asked her mom if Emily could just lick a French fry and maybe a cracker at the restaurant they were visiting. Thanks to her sister's efforts, Emily subsequently licked a whole plateful of fries.

Lydia's diary also tells how she dearly loves horses, but cannot get very close to them because of her eczema and asthma. Through her imagination, however, she has lots of fun with horses at home. She very much appreciated the horse costume I made for her, and for awhile, the space under Lydia's bed served as a barn. One day we found both girls fast asleep in the make-believe stable.

I am also making a memory quilt using different scraps of fabric from the articles of clothing that I have made for the girls. The quilt has pictures of the family and friends and other bits and pieces of things that will remind Emily and Lydia of all the happy times they have had growing up.

Emily and Lydia celebrate their birthdays each year, but they also celebrate something their dad calls "Airplane Day." Airplane Day is the anniversary of when each girl arrived home, and on those days (in July for Emily and August for Lydia) the girls choose whatever they would like to do and eat. Both girls like to ride the carousel at Lighthouse Point, so the family usually packs up a picnic supper and drives out to the Point for the afternoon and evening.

The girls also attend children's parties every two months with other children in the area who were adopted from Korea at about the same time they were. My daughter and her husband have stayed in touch with these children's families, and every summer, all the families get together to go canoeing and camping.

I feel that I am very fortunate to have been able to participate in so many wonderful and exciting events that my family has shared together. Although I live in Florida and my family is in Connecticut, I have been able to visit often and be with the girls when they took their first steps, started to talk, and were growing into the very beautiful young girls I know today.

A grandmother couldn't wish for more precious grandchildren than Lydia and Emily. They are my heart's delight, and I can't even imagine life without them.